Nah, it's no fun here. I like Donny and he knows his stuff. This is for the people who have probably never set foot in Durham and will still have the nerve to open their mouths and let some stupid fall out.
I will let you know my personal favorite, though:
Duke fan: "We're" going to kick yer Tar Hole ass on Wednesday!
Me: Oh yeah? You are? So when did you graduate from Duke? *Strokes chin while showing off obnoxiously oversized Carolina class ring*
Duke fan: Uhhhhhhh
Yeah, it's cheap, but I've never had one come up with an answer to that one. My actual Duke grad friends are way more clever than "we're gonna kick yer ass."
"Karyn Sypher" is a pretty good one.
Duke Chronicle published a parody issue of the Daily Tar Heel, circa 1988. It included one blank page with the following caption:
"This big useless white space is here in recognition of Eric Montross."
I don't know a lot of Carolina jokes, per se, but here's one:
Q: Who's the only man to ever hold Michael Jordan under 20 points per game?
A: Dean Smith.
Go to hell, Carolina, go to hell. Eat $#@!!
Pretty good finish in the WVU @ Providence game. Game winning three pointer with 3 seconds left in overtime for West Virginia. Kevin Jones had a "bad" game with only 20 points and 5 rebounds. If KJ doesn't get the POY award or at worst finish in the top 3, something is very wrong. He's averaging 21 points and 11.5 rebounds a game, and has had huge games against top competition (Georgetown,Baylor,Syracuse,UCONN,Kansas State,Cincinnati,Mississippi State).
Just a few things to consider..
1. His scoring average would lead the Big 12, Pac-12, SEC, and Big Ten. (Only one ACC player scoring more, Maryland's Terrell Stoglin.)
2. His rebounding average would lead the ACC, Pac-12, SEC and Big Ten. (Only one Big 12 player rebounding more, KU's Thomas Robinson.)
Last edited by Mountaineer Maniac; 02-05-2012 at 01:40 PM. Reason: stats added.
Michigan State put a pretty brutal beating on Michigan today. Draymond Green is a beast and they just killed UM on the boards, 40-16. Michigan drops to 7-4 in the Big Ten, a game and a half back of Ohio State (Michigan State is one game back and they play Ohio State twice more this season). The Big Ten's going to go down to the wire-- unless Ohio State keeps winning on the road, in which case it's a done deal.
Duke down 7 at home to Miami after being down as much as 16. I'm not going to be talking a whole lot of $#@! because we're going to get housed by Carolina on Wednesday.
Jesus Miami, you can't even get a shot off?
Reggie Johnson is a beast, he was killing Ryan Kelly (with 4 fouls), so they FINALLY put Miles Plumlee on him on that last possession.
It would be $#@!ing awesome if Austin Rivers could learn to shoot free throws.
Duke 0-6 FT in overtime. I will now stick my head in the oven.
Donny, and anyone who cares about Carolina-Duke (I'm trying not to turn this into that thread, but considering the game's Wednesday night, I thought y'all might want to know): ESPN Classic is playing a bunch of Carolina-Duke games over the next couple of days.
And Donny, I thought you might enjoy some of my finest photoshop work:
Eh, I think it's pretty good considering I did it in about 30 minutes. I could tighten it up, but I think the crudeness kind of adds to the effect.
A Carolina girl sucked my $#@! in the parking lot of He's Not Here.
That's about all I got.
Davis and UK both showing why they are number ones.
Paul Pierce passes Larry Bird for 2nd on the all time Celtics scoring list behind only John Havlicek. Ive always been a big time Pierce fan (ultimate hooper!) and am super happy for him. He seriously is the ultimate hooper though. Nothing about him is exceptional athletically, but the guy is a straight hooper.
Jared Sullinger looks like he's frustrated with college basketball. Like if it doesn't come easy to him, he gets pissy-- kind of a "don't foul me, don't you know who I am?" look. He's definitely ready for the NBA. He still seems like he's having fun in college when things are going well-- Wisconsin, for instance-- but tonight against Purdue his body language is basically me in a Human Resources Diversity training. It's like he wants to get it over with, and if getting it over with is fun and easy, he's all grins, but if it comes with physicality in the lane and double-teams, he gets impatient.
By the way, I'll throw this out there-- Ohio State leads Purdue by 7 at the 11 minute mark, but they've had to shoot almost 80% to make that happen. When they cool down later this half and through the game, Purdue has a chance to keep it close.
And now Purdue is relying on a 7-ppg scorer to keep them in it with 17 first-half points and 5/5 3 pt shooting. Now THAT is not sustainable.
Tied at halftime. I'd say Ohio State is looking ahead to Michigan State but Purdue is definitely playing well, well enough to counter a really sluggish and seemingly mildly interested Ohio State team. The challenge for a visitor like Purdue is to take advantage of opportunities and they're doing it.
WTF is that avatar?
80-75 Ohio St, 1:25 left with the ball.
That was a bit of a no-call.
And then a dead ball call.
Yeah, those games happen. Not reading too much into it for Ohio State's long term prognosis.
Okay, so it's the day. You'll have to give me a pass when it comes to posting Carolina-Duke stuff. Sorry if it gets obnoxious.
A few years ago, I ran into an exasperated writer from a national magazine who'd been dispatched to Tobacco Road to find a fresh story about the Duke-North Carolina game. He exhaled melodramatically and asked me; What hasn't already been written about the greatest rivalry in college basketball for the last 30 years?
This week I've felt his pain. Heck, I must've brainstormed for a solid 11 minutes on this one. I thought about speaking to a married couple I know, one of whom works in Cameron Indoor Stadium, the other in the Smith Center. Yawn. I pondered driving to a Bojangles' halfway between Duke and UNC to poll local fans over chicken biscuits and tea, which no doubt would have ruined a perfectly good lunch. Naturally, I considered a visit to Krzyzewskiville, but that's been done so often I hear some of the Crazies have hired publicists. I even thought about walking from Cameron to the Dean Dome just to prove how close these two archrivals really are. (OK, I didn't think about that one for very long.)
Then it hit me.
...the greatest rivalry in college basketball for the last 30 years...
How spoiled am I? How spoiled are we? We're talking Paris Hilton-spoiled. We're talking The Bachelor doesn't have it this good. For once, we get to know how it feels to be among the top one-percenters.
For me (and I suspect many of you willing to admit it), today is like a second Christmas. I already know what I'm getting and it's exactly what I wanted. One word: Dukarolina.
So I am telling my editor right here publicly. Do not pay me for this column. Or anything else that I write about tonight's game. It's on me.
Think about it, folks. Seriously, slow down and admire what's in these next three paragraphs.
We get to watch Mike Krzyzewski, the game's winningest coach match Xs and Os with Roy Williams, the active coach with the sport's highest winning percentage. A Duke program with four NCAA championships against UNC's with five, including two of the last three and four of the last 11 national titles between them. UNC has participated in 18 Final Fours, tied for the most with UCLA. Duke is next with 15. Either Duke or UNC has been in five of the last eight Final Fours and 22 of the last 31, including both teams in 1991. UNC and Kentucky are tied with the most NCAA Tournament victories with 105. Duke is stalking them with 96.
The Blue Devils have won 30 or more games in nine of the last 14 seasons. The Tar Heels have four 30-win seasons among their last eight. Duke has been ranked No. 1 in the country in 91 weeks since 1990, more than any other program. UNC is second on the list. Duke has been ranked No. 1 in 15 different seasons under Krzyzewski. That's three more than UCLA's John Wooden. Roy Williams is next at 11. Followed by Dean Smith at 10. Krzyzewski's remarkable 209 games coached as the nation's No. 1 team ranks second only to Wooden. Smith isn't far behind them.
Duke and UNC have each produced 11 National Players of the Year. Duke has produced 16 NBA lottery picks, the most from any school. UNC has produced 15. Duke has the most alums currently in the NBA at 15. UNC has 12. There are four active college basketball coaches already enshrined in the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame and half of them will be prowling the same sideline this evening in Chapel Hill.
We are not worthy.
How competitive is this matchup? Over their last 86 meetings dating back to 1977, the two teams are separated by a total of one point. Williams is 8-9 against Duke while at UNC. Krzyzewski is 36-36 against UNC as Duke's coach. Tonight they will face each other with both teams ranked in the Top 10 for the sixth time in their last 10 meetings. Then consider that when the Blue Devils board their team bus this evening in Durham, Mason Plumlee can punch Freebird on his iPod and if the bus hits the traffic lights on 15-501 just right, he'll be walking into the Dean Dome before the song ends. C'mon. That is like having the Yankees and Red Sox competing in the same little league. The Celtics and Lakers playing winners in the driveway. Ali and Frazier sleeping in bunk beds.
Halcyon days aren't supposed to last for three decades, so we all need to face the unsettling possibility that Dukarolina will not last forever. We've seen both programs crumble when their iconic coaches stepped away and both Krzyzewski and Williams are looking back at 60. So please take a moment to truly appreciate what we have. Tonight we get to witness the best rivalry in the sport and then we actually get to do it all again in just 24 days. How spoiled are we?
Who else gets three Christmases?
This is amazing:
"In the last 75 meetings, Duke has outscored UNC, 5858 - 5857. Over those 75 meetings, UNC leads Duke 38-37."
I'm miffed that I won't get to see it because i'll be at the WVU-ND game. As annoying as it is hearing about Duke/UNC all season, it really is top notch entertainment.
UConn is desperately trying to avoid the NCAA hammer for its low APR scores. As it now stands, the Huskies will be ineligible for next year's NCAA tournament. They're proposing only playing 23 games next year with no exhibitions (so their players can spend more time hitting the books, supposedly) and prohibiting Calhoun from making recruiting visits off-campus, assuming he's still around. It'll be interesting to see if the NCAA sticks to its guns.
UConn Proposes Own Penalties
Random Duke-Carolina moment: in 1995 (the year Coach K took a powder), Duke sucked (2-14 in the ACC) and Carolina was awesome (made the Final Four and would have won it all if Dean Smith knew how to coach... hehe). UNC had Jerry Stackhouse and Rasheed Wallace. Duke had Cherokee Parks and Greg Newton.
Any way, the game in Cameron somehow went into overtime, but UNC took a 3 point lead with 5 seconds left. After a missed free throw, Duke got the ball to Jeff Capel, who put up a running one hander from half court at the buzzer. It went in.
In my apartment in Austin, I jumped up and accidentally punched a hole in the ceiling. I did not get my deposit back.
UNC won in double OT and I went down to 6th Street to drown my sorrows. A nice young lady consoled me by inviting me her back to her place for a blowjob and a $#@!. I did not get my deposit back.
P.S. $#@! CAROLINA roysucks
And as I type this, I just finished watching the Bloody Montross game from 1992 @ Carolina (UNC won 75-73) I DVRd. I chose that one specifically to watch before I head out the door to the local sports bar, because that's the kind of game I'm expecting/wanting. We've needed a game where everyone's fired up and just battles 40 full minutes. Or I'll take us blowing you guys out by 100. Either works.
Ah, 1992. Hurley was out (or hobbled by bad foot) and we still would have beaten your sorry asses if Laettner had made that open 15-footer. Carolina fans stormed the court (WTF?) and then lost 7 or 8 in a row or something. Duke went on to repeat as national champs.
Thanks for reminding me!
Indeed it was, and it's possible that the talent gulf in 92 was just as wide as it was in 95. Duke has no business winning tonight, but I would bet good money, real good money, that the game will come down to a few possessions inside the last 2 minutes.
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