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Thread: I bought red shorts today

  1. 05-27-2012 10:03 AM #51
    McNelly
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    Quote Originally Posted by bamachine View Post
    Umm, we have a poster here that loves Disney, take her along, guaranteed embarrassment for the kiddos.
    Found her.

    Spoiler!
    Last edited by McNelly; 05-27-2012 at 10:10 AM.
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  2. 05-27-2012 10:04 AM #52
    evil horn
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Gay days are the weekend before, Star Wars days are the weekend after. Should be awesome.


    mesa think yousa gonna get raped
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  3. 05-27-2012 10:05 AM #53
    EddieMoney
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    If I put a flask in my fanny pack, will they check that?
    I'd imagine you can get away with a floppy flask really easily. I'm not speaking from experience regarding floppy flasks and amusement parks
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  4. 05-27-2012 10:39 AM #54
    bigup2dahorns
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    There was a brush fire a few days ago at one of the highway exits for Disney, they closed down the highway and traffic was jacked. Foreshadowing?
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  5. 05-27-2012 10:42 AM #55
    mdmost
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    Don't they serve alcohol at Disney? Drinking heavily might help.
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  6. 05-27-2012 10:45 AM #56
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by mdmost View Post
    Don't they serve alcohol at Disney? Drinking heavily might help.
    Not at the Magic Kingdom.
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  7. 05-27-2012 11:54 AM #57
    Thor Goddhammer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brewin'1up View Post
    I recommend Jorts.
    Yes, jort up. Cuff them to add some extra appeal.
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  8. 05-27-2012 12:09 PM #58
    Surly Bevo
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Not at the Magic Kingdom.
    You have older kids though relatively speaking so make sure you get some quality time in at Hollywood, EPCOT and Animal.

    Oh and cop a feel on the princesses. They love that.
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  9. 05-27-2012 12:11 PM #59
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surly Bevo View Post
    You have older kids though relatively speaking so make sure you get some quality time in at Hollywood, EPCOT and Animal.

    Oh and cop a feel on the princesses. They love that.
    It's going to be awkward standing in line for Princess Character signings by myself, since nobody else is into princesses.
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  10. 05-27-2012 12:21 PM #60
    Cluttered
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    It's going to be awkward standing in line for Princess Character signings by myself, since nobody else is into princesses.
    Be sure to ask what time she takes her top off.
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  11. 05-27-2012 12:25 PM #61
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cluttered View Post
    Be sure to ask what time she takes her top off.
    Ariel is the quickest clothes to boobs time I would guess. I hope Snow White brings her midgets.
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  12. 05-27-2012 12:31 PM #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    If I put a flask in my fanny pack, will they check that?
    Yeah they will check the fanny pack. I've always just tucked the flask in my belt. Once inside the park you can move it to the fanny pack.
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  13. 05-27-2012 12:32 PM #63
    Surly Bevo
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Ariel is the quickest clothes to boobs time I would guess. I hope Snow White brings her midgets.
    Perhaps.....I would go with Jasmine actually.

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  14. 05-27-2012 12:41 PM #64
    IH8UNC
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    Quote Originally Posted by King Neptune View Post
    Try to sneak into the tunnels.

    gooby pls
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  15. 05-27-2012 12:42 PM #65
    skipperj
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    This is gonna be me.

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  16. 05-27-2012 12:46 PM #66
    skipperj
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    Sluts.

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  17. 05-27-2012 12:52 PM #67
    From Dixie With Love
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    freedom flask ftw
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  18. 05-27-2012 12:53 PM #68
    Cluttered
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    Can't Disney do a little better?
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  19. 05-27-2012 01:00 PM #69
    Ruffian
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    All the other princesses are judging Ariel. Skank.
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  20. 05-27-2012 01:03 PM #70
    jmatt
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    As an alternate to the Hawaiian shirt, you could go for a wife-beater t-shirt, maybe a yellow or other bright colored one with some lame saying on it (bonus if it has a stain on the front).

    Be sure to buy some Mickey Ears right away and wear them all day. You could even get some Minnie Ears instead - because it's "funny"...
    Last edited by jmatt; 05-27-2012 at 01:07 PM.
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  21. 05-27-2012 01:03 PM #71
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    This is secretly who Skip will be pining to see

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  22. 05-27-2012 01:09 PM #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    And a Hawaiian shirt. From Target.

    I plan to wear both of them, along with a floppy fishing hat of some sort that I bought at Academy last year, at Disney World next week.

    I also plan on stealing a motorized cart from someone when they aren't looking.

    My goal is to embarrass my kids and wife as much as possible so that we never have to go back to Disney World ever again. $#@!ing money pit and we haven't even left yet. I already don't like my wife's tone. I plan to drink everything in the world at Epcot.

    I'm also going to wear tennis shoes with black socks. And bring about 3 handles of whiskey.

    Smegma: come at me bro.

    I'm watching Braveheart, and about 8 drinks in, plus lunch bahama mamas at Lake Travis.

    Word.
    Hey, man, you don't talk to skipperj.. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "Do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you"... I mean I'm... no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man! I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas...
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  23. 05-27-2012 01:32 PM #73
    judge roybeanbag
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    Quote Originally Posted by King Neptune View Post


    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...SIN=B001U5VG6G
    careful with that or you'll get so drunk you forget, try to creepstalk some chick and end up with whiskeyeye
    Last edited by judge roybeanbag; 05-27-2012 at 01:34 PM.
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  24. 05-27-2012 01:37 PM #74
    FlaBuff
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    Crocs with socks. A Disney embarrassment classic.
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  25. 05-27-2012 03:14 PM #75
    Chest Rockwell
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    Page 2 and nothing from Smegma? must still be out of town
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  26. 05-27-2012 03:15 PM #76
    Buster Hymen
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    Wear one of those gay mini backpacks with shoestring straps. Thats as gay as it gets.

    Add nut hugging American flag running shorts for full effect. Maybe some white slip on Walmart doc shoes with those black socks.
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  27. 05-27-2012 03:16 PM #77
    Buster Hymen
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    Or Ed hardy/affliction. Initiate pushup contests will all midgets.
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  28. 05-27-2012 03:17 PM #78
    FlaBuff
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    Bill Clinton style running shorts...extra credit.
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  29. 05-27-2012 03:31 PM #79
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlaBuff View Post
    Bill Clinton style running shorts...extra credit.
    That's my scrip club move right there.
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  30. 05-27-2012 04:34 PM #80
    Gardner Barnes
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Sluts.

    W sluts. Right now.

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  31. 05-27-2012 04:35 PM #81
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  32. 05-27-2012 06:29 PM #82
    Scooter
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    Quote Originally Posted by From Dixie With Love View Post


    freedom flask ftw
    You're wearing a catheter to Disney World?
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  33. 05-27-2012 06:58 PM #83
    ScottS
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    Any of the clothing options from here should cause the maximum amount of embarrassment.

    http://www.liquidvinylclothing.com/Mens.html

    The split side running shorts are especially nice.
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  34. 05-27-2012 07:43 PM #84
    rage-a-holic
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    Hopefully you're staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. That's the only place I was willing to tolerate when I planned a trip with the ex.
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  35. 05-27-2012 07:48 PM #85
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by rage-a-holic View Post
    Hopefully you're staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. That's the only place I was willing to tolerate when I planned a trip with the ex.
    Nah. Two-bedroom condo at the Marriott complex across the street.
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  36. 05-27-2012 07:48 PM #86
    Thor Goddhammer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardner Barnes View Post
    More.
    $#@!! I was all over that bar last week and that was not going on.

    Tell the one in the purple someone from the internet wants to meet her.
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  37. 05-27-2012 07:50 PM #87
    burntorangebongos
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    batshit crazy burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos should starts burntorangebongos's Avatar
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    This with a mullet wig and jorts would make you the best character there. Cracka Gooby.
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  38. 05-27-2012 07:53 PM #88
    skipperj
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    Oh. I'm totally using gooby pls over and over and over.
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  39. 05-27-2012 08:05 PM #89
    equinox
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    You should pull one arm back in your shirt and keep it hidden all day. Try to get all the handicapped privileges you can as a one-armed man.
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  40. 05-27-2012 09:08 PM #90
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by equinox View Post
    You should pull one arm back in your shirt and keep it hidden all day. Try to get all the handicapped privileges you can as a one-armed man.
    $#@! no. I don't want Han Solo chasing after me all day.
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  41. 05-27-2012 09:22 PM #91
    FCHorn
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    Head over to Japan at the Epcot and I'll have a Bukkake set up for you...
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  42. 05-28-2012 10:53 AM #92
    tbone
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    I can't support this passive aggressive bull$#@!.

    If you don't want to go, man up and don't go.
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  43. 05-28-2012 11:58 AM #93
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbone View Post
    I can't support this passive aggressive bull$#@!.

    If you don't want to go, man up and don't go.
    Lighten up, Frances, we're all just having fun here.
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  44. 05-28-2012 12:25 PM #94
    texassax
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    Hipster Rights Advocate texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax aka Old Freak Nasty texassax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    $#@! no. I don't want Han Solo chasing after me all day.
    just shoot him first and it'll be alright.
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  45. 05-28-2012 01:33 PM #95
    Ruffian
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbone View Post
    I can't support this passive aggressive bull$#@!.

    If you don't want to go, man up and don't go.

    Oh, he wants to go. He lives for this $#@!. skipperj, tbone; tbone, skipperj.
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  46. 05-28-2012 02:05 PM #96
    Kyrie Eleison
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    prepare your anus...

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  47. 05-28-2012 02:27 PM #97
    Underdog
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    No summer attire is complete without croakies.
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  48. 05-28-2012 02:28 PM #98
    Native Horn
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    I am experiencing great joy knowing that you are going to WDW while I am not. Bwahahaha!
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  49. 05-28-2012 06:54 PM #99
    tbone
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Lighten up, Frances, we're all just having fun here.
    No way. This is serious $#@!.
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  50. 05-28-2012 06:56 PM #100
    skipperj
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbone View Post
    No way. This is serious $#@!.
    Truth, my friend. Truth. We'll be lucky to live through this.
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