The worst reason EVER to miss a Texas game

[Hookah Horns]

[Hookah Horns]

Seriously, I don't get guys like you. There is a ton of pussy in this world. Why attach yourself to someone who is going to pull this kind of shit? I don't care what kind of Hornfan she claims to be.

Why do people need to go to a movie with someone else anyway? What kind of bonding experience is that. I've never understood this. I honestly would feel terrible about dragging someone to some film I knew they'd hate.

[BigOrange]

my best friend is getting married in january of 2011. i log on to facebook today and see his fiance's status: so happy that i can get john to do stuff for me that he would otherwise never do, like seeing twilight tonight."

i immediately thought of this thread and what a shitfest my friend's life is about to become.

[Drunken Mule]

Seriously, I don't get guys like you. There is a ton of pussy in this world. Why attach yourself to someone who is going to pull this kind of shit? I don't care what kind of Hornfan she claims to be.

Why do people need to go to a movie with someone else anyway? What kind of bonding experience is that. I've never understood this. I honestly would feel terrible about dragging someone to some film I knew they'd hate.

I just need somebody to do my fucking laundry and go to the liquor store. My GF is beautiful in this regard and I don't think I can get rid of her.

[zzzz]

The success of the second film adaptation of author Stephenie Meyer's wildly popular supernatural romance series, "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" has less to do with vampires and werewolves than with zombies.

You know the kind I mean. Not the flesh-eating ones but the ones who have been counting down the hours and minutes to the release of the film. The slack-jawed legions who will stagger into theaters this weekend, clutching their preordered tickets in their outstretched hands, regardless of what they hear about the movie.

...To readers like the audience members at a recent screening who squealed the names "Edward!" (the vampire) or "Jacob!" (the werewolf) when asked to call out their favorite supernatural hunk, I say: This review is not for you.


(Spoiler?)


...Enter Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). Yeah, I know the character was introduced in the last movie as Bella's shy and slightly awkward childhood best friend. Trust me, this isn't the same guy. When Lautner -- who reportedly put on 30 pounds of muscle for the bulked-up role of someone who has just found out he's a teenage werewolf -- takes off his shirt in the movie, the audience let out something between a gasp and a scream. It was like nothing I have ever heard in any horror movie. The kid's abs are the best special effect in the movie.

...At times, the dueling fashion sensibilities of the werewolf pack (who look like they stepped from the pages of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue) and Edward's vampire family (who seem to shop at Barneys) are like the Sharks and the Jets, only with better stylists.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/gog/mo...ic-review.html

If you do get that BJ, I think it's safe to say she won't be thinking about you.

[runthebone]

my best friend is getting married in january of 2011. i log on to facebook today and see his fiance's status: so happy that i can get john to do stuff for me that he would otherwise never do, like seeing twilight tonight."

i immediately thought of this thread and what a shitfest my friend's life is about to become.

It's not too late to save him.

[BigOrange]

It's not too late to save him.

oh i'll be having a talk with him over the holidays, but i'm sure it will do no good.

[The Tower]

Some one put this on the classics STAT!!!!

seconded.

[j.e.s.-U.S.]

I've come back here a few times now... funny shit.

[Texas_Rocks]

You're about to get your ass handed to you by this board.

So far, so good.

[UTEX90]

so happy that i can get john to do stuff for me that he would otherwise never do, like seeing twilight tonight.

If she used these exact words he is doomed. The mentality of it alone is damning.

You must save him or at least be able to say you tried.

Has he read it?

[longhrnfan]

my best friend is getting married in january of 2011. i log on to facebook today and see his fiance's status: so happy that i can get john to do stuff for me that he would otherwise never do, like seeing twilight tonight."

i immediately thought of this thread and what a shitfest my friend's life is about to become.

he's not married yet.

[hitbyatrain]

Seriously, I don't get guys like you. There is a ton of pussy in this world. Why attach yourself to someone who is going to pull this kind of shit? I don't care what kind of Hornfan she claims to be.

Why do people need to go to a movie with someone else anyway? What kind of bonding experience is ithat. I've never understood this. I honestly would feel terrible about dragging someone to some film I knew they'd hate.

You know, I've been going over this thread in my head and I think we've been unfairly blaming the lady.

This is clearly the OP's fault. Somewhere along the way, he AGREED to:

(1) attend another event at a time one could reasonably expect the game to take place;

(2) to see a shitty vampire movie for which the demographic is clearly preteen girls and, by extension, pedophiles; and

(3) to see the movie on its opening weekend.

Also, we now know the tickets were easily exchanged for a later showing, which means there was little to no resistance on the part of the lady in question. If there was resistance of any sort, we would have likely seen the OP post about it, judging by his other overdramatizations in this thread.

Furthermore, the OP provides us with ample evidence as to his reasoning by attempting to preemptively justify his conscious decision to attend the film instead of the game. He mentions that he has old, saggy, 40 year old balls, his wife is young and hot, and leads us to believe she--a BAYLOR grad, no less--would be perfectly willing to double up on him, with her sister, in an incestuous OP sandwich. Are we really expected to believe this teenybopper-movie-going, Baptist-educated, young woman is so eager to depravedly please her man in ways that the vast majority of us only read about in one of JT's threads?

Therefore, it's obvious that the OP is throwing out misinformation in an attempt to make us believe he was forced into this situation, and be pleased that he reached his faux compromise with his wife--and that we won't mind that he's not even actually attend the game like he said he would in the original post.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have met the sucker here, and it is us.

[IPoopOnWhoop]

If she used these exact words he is doomed. The mentality of it alone is damning.

You must save him or at least be able to say you tried.

Has he read it?

oh he read it and responded to it

[MC Fresh Breath]

Between this, and the Mangino thread, the Shag has been pretty great, lately.

And what everyone said.

[GhostOfTomJoad]

Ladies and gentlemen, I have met the sucker here, and it is us.

But it's certainly livened up the week around here, hasn't it? Or would you rather be forced to contemplate Mangino's toweling techniques over & over again?

[MrsLonghornLawyer]

Good God, somebody please send this thread to LonghornLawyer to prove yet again what a great wife I am. No way I would drag him to this movie. ESPECIALLY on opening weekend with the teeny bops. AND on a game night. Ask him. But this is a girls' night out if ever I saw one. Clearly, this poster is whipped.

Somebody slap him. And then her.

And it is much more fun to dogpile than to be dogpiled.

[Ghost of LL]

I make this post with full knowledge that my wife is reading this. She will confirm everything I say. And she will confirm that Ghost has bigger problems than fucking Twilight:

More details, not that it will matter one bit: I turn 40 on Thanksgiving. We head out next Tuesday to spend the week in Vegas at the Venetian. She's never been to Vegas before. My ex & I used to go all the time, so she feels so doubt (typical chick bullshit). It's a big deal. Her attitude about this Saturday (although she's also a Texas Ex & huge 'horn fan; even named our 2nd cat Major) is "it's fucking Kansas, we'll beat them by 40 points" so therefore it's more important that I show her how much I respect things she's passionate about & sacrifice a little for her.

Let me tell you something--she doesn't give a shit about Twilight. She knows she could see it Friday night or Sunday morning or when the fuck ever. This isn't about the movie.

This is about punishing you for being married previously and forcing her to go to you and your ex's hot place. She's uncomfortable about that. She feels like you're forcing her into something, so she's going to force you to sacrifice something. And not only is she going to force you to sacrifice something you care about--i.e., a Longhorn game--she's going to do it in the most painful way possible--i.e., a fucking teeny-bopper vampire movie.

Here's an aside. A woman that keeps score like that is called a "bitch."

But regardless, that's what this is about. It doesn't matter what accommodations you make to send her with a friend or see the movie another time. That's not the point. The only way to deal with this is to assert yourself and tell her that you're not going to this fucking movie, period.



And let me tell you another thing--you're not getting pooper . . . or a threesome . . . or even a fucking blow job in Vegas. You're not getting shit because she's going to spend the entire fucking week obsessing about you and your ex and what you guys did in Vegas. And she's going to take it out on you all week by doing passive aggressive shit to punish you like ordering the most expensive shit on the menu, hitting on 17, and forcing you to go see shit like Ka.

Why?

Because she's a bitch. And that's what bitches do.

Ghost, when you're ready for a divorce lawyer, shoot me a PM and I'll get you some referrals.

And no, I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

[KC-97HORN]

I make this post with full knowledge that my wife is reading this. She will confirm everything I say. And she will confirm that Ghost has bigger problems than fucking Twilight:

Let me tell you something--she doesn't give a shit about Twilight. She knows she could see it Friday night or Sunday morning or when the fuck ever. This isn't about the movie.

This is about punishing you for being married previously and forcing her to go to you and your ex's hot place. She's uncomfortable about that. She feels like you're forcing her into something, so she's going to force you to sacrifice something. And not only is she going to force you to sacrifice something you care about--i.e., a Longhorn game--she's going to do it in the most painful way possible--i.e., a fucking teeny-bopper vampire movie.

Here's an aside. A woman that keeps score like that is called a "bitch."

But regardless, that's what this is about. It doesn't matter what accommodations you make to send her with a friend or see the movie another time. That's not the point. The only way to deal with this is to assert yourself and tell her that you're not going to this fucking movie, period.



And let me tell you another thing--you're not getting pooper . . . or a threesome . . . or even a fucking blow job in Vegas. You're not getting shit because she's going to spend the entire fucking week obsessing about you and your ex and what you guys did in Vegas. And she's going to take it out on you all week by doing passive aggressive shit to punish you like ordering the most expensive shit on the menu, hitting on 17, and forcing you to go see shit like Ka.

Why?

Because she's a bitch. And that's what bitches do.

Ghost, when you're ready for a divorce lawyer, shoot me a PM and I'll get you some referrals.

And no, I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

you know- when you aren't jacked up on aggy misery, passed out in an ally somewhere, you actually have quite the ability to spout some good prose.

Hell I would even call that a lucid, intelligent, well thought-out objection

[Ruby Soho]

I make this post with full knowledge that my wife is reading this. She will confirm everything I say. And she will confirm that Ghost has bigger problems than fucking Twilight:

Let me tell you something--she doesn't give a shit about Twilight. She knows she could see it Friday night or Sunday morning or when the fuck ever. This isn't about the movie.

This is about punishing you for being married previously and forcing her to go to you and your ex's hot place. She's uncomfortable about that. She feels like you're forcing her into something, so she's going to force you to sacrifice something. And not only is she going to force you to sacrifice something you care about--i.e., a Longhorn game--she's going to do it in the most painful way possible--i.e., a fucking teeny-bopper vampire movie.

Here's an aside. A woman that keeps score like that is called a "bitch."

But regardless, that's what this is about. It doesn't matter what accommodations you make to send her with a friend or see the movie another time. That's not the point. The only way to deal with this is to assert yourself and tell her that you're not going to this fucking movie, period.



And let me tell you another thing--you're not getting pooper . . . or a threesome . . . or even a fucking blow job in Vegas. You're not getting shit because she's going to spend the entire fucking week obsessing about you and your ex and what you guys did in Vegas. And she's going to take it out on you all week by doing passive aggressive shit to punish you like ordering the most expensive shit on the menu, hitting on 17, and forcing you to go see shit like Ka.

Why?

Because she's a bitch. And that's what bitches do.

Ghost, when you're ready for a divorce lawyer, shoot me a PM and I'll get you some referrals.

And no, I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

Greatness right here.

[theropods]

So not only will I not be at Senior Day this Saturday to see Colt break the all time wins record as well as send off the seniors in style, I won't even be able to watch it at home or in a sports bar.

Why?

Because my wife spent weeks getting us tickets to see Twilight: New Moon at the Drafthouse @ 7PM on Saturday.

Kill me.

Have you never heard of the word "No?" Or the phrase, "Are you out of your fucking mind woman?"

[BrothaHorn]

Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a Houston lawyer and Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment designed to ban gay marriages erroneously endangers the legal status of all marriages in the state.

The amendment, approved by the state legislature and overwhelmingly ratified by voters, declares that "marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." But the troublemaking phrase, as Radnofsky sees it, is Subsection B, which declares:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Architects of the amendment included the clause to ban same-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships. But Radnofsky, who was a member of the powerhouse Vinson & Elkins law firm in Houston for 27 years until retiring in 2006, says the wording of Subsection B effectively "eliminates marriage in Texas," including common-law marriages.

Good news dude, you may be be able to use this to save your weekend..you can have sex and go to vegas during baseball season

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/poli...y/1340164.html

[Sii]

I make this post with full knowledge that my wife is reading this. She will confirm everything I say. And she will confirm that Ghost has bigger problems than fucking Twilight:

Let me tell you something--she doesn't give a shit about Twilight. She knows she could see it Friday night or Sunday morning or when the fuck ever. This isn't about the movie.

This is about punishing you for being married previously and forcing her to go to you and your ex's hot place. She's uncomfortable about that. She feels like you're forcing her into something, so she's going to force you to sacrifice something. And not only is she going to force you to sacrifice something you care about--i.e., a Longhorn game--she's going to do it in the most painful way possible--i.e., a fucking teeny-bopper vampire movie.

Here's an aside. A woman that keeps score like that is called a "bitch."

But regardless, that's what this is about. It doesn't matter what accommodations you make to send her with a friend or see the movie another time. That's not the point. The only way to deal with this is to assert yourself and tell her that you're not going to this fucking movie, period.



And let me tell you another thing--you're not getting pooper . . . or a threesome . . . or even a fucking blow job in Vegas. You're not getting shit because she's going to spend the entire fucking week obsessing about you and your ex and what you guys did in Vegas. And she's going to take it out on you all week by doing passive aggressive shit to punish you like ordering the most expensive shit on the menu, hitting on 17, and forcing you to go see shit like Ka.

Why?

Because she's a bitch. And that's what bitches do.

Ghost, when you're ready for a divorce lawyer, shoot me a PM and I'll get you some referrals.

And no, I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

perfect

[TankedBevo]

I make this post with full knowledge that my wife is reading this. She will confirm everything I say. And she will confirm that Ghost has bigger problems than fucking Twilight:

Let me tell you something--she doesn't give a shit about Twilight. She knows she could see it Friday night or Sunday morning or when the fuck ever. This isn't about the movie.

This is about punishing you for being married previously and forcing her to go to you and your ex's hot place. She's uncomfortable about that. She feels like you're forcing her into something, so she's going to force you to sacrifice something. And not only is she going to force you to sacrifice something you care about--i.e., a Longhorn game--she's going to do it in the most painful way possible--i.e., a fucking teeny-bopper vampire movie.

Here's an aside. A woman that keeps score like that is called a "bitch."

But regardless, that's what this is about. It doesn't matter what accommodations you make to send her with a friend or see the movie another time. That's not the point. The only way to deal with this is to assert yourself and tell her that you're not going to this fucking movie, period.



And let me tell you another thing--you're not getting pooper . . . or a threesome . . . or even a fucking blow job in Vegas. You're not getting shit because she's going to spend the entire fucking week obsessing about you and your ex and what you guys did in Vegas. And she's going to take it out on you all week by doing passive aggressive shit to punish you like ordering the most expensive shit on the menu, hitting on 17, and forcing you to go see shit like Ka.

Why?

Because she's a bitch. And that's what bitches do.

Ghost, when you're ready for a divorce lawyer, shoot me a PM and I'll get you some referrals.

And no, I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

This is quite possibly the best post Ive evar read. EVAR.

[Eskimohorn]

I also am missing the Kansas game. My wife and I have a busy day ahead of us at Bed, Bath & Beyond. If we have time, we'll visit the Home Depot.

[tejas60]

hitting on 17

[HookemL]

Well, I think that's a wrap.... No wait, you must be kidding me!!!

[earlricky]

You sir need to surrender your man card.

[rtchorn]

This.

I feel really bad for a lot of the married guys on this site.

Then again, I have never really gotten along with most of my fellow women. Too fussy and manipulative. FYI, the women here on the Shag are obviously exceptions :) How you men put up with the stuff you do, I have no idea.

The last time a man treated me like some of your wives treat you, he was kicked to the curb...quickly.

Further proof fat women like to give bjs.

[Drunken Mule]

I also am missing the Kansas game. My wife and I have a busy day ahead of us at Bed, Bath & Beyond. If we have time, we'll visit the Home Depot.

My woman will be mixing cocktails for me and singing the Eyes of Texas. She's pretty damned hot for a 40 yr. old, too.

[MeSoHorny]

I make this post with full knowledge that my wife is reading this. She will confirm everything I say. And she will confirm that Ghost has bigger problems than fucking Twilight:

Let me tell you something--she doesn't give a shit about Twilight. She knows she could see it Friday night or Sunday morning or when the fuck ever. This isn't about the movie.

This is about punishing you for being married previously and forcing her to go to you and your ex's hot place. She's uncomfortable about that. She feels like you're forcing her into something, so she's going to force you to sacrifice something. And not only is she going to force you to sacrifice something you care about--i.e., a Longhorn game--she's going to do it in the most painful way possible--i.e., a fucking teeny-bopper vampire movie.

Here's an aside. A woman that keeps score like that is called a "bitch."

But regardless, that's what this is about. It doesn't matter what accommodations you make to send her with a friend or see the movie another time. That's not the point. The only way to deal with this is to assert yourself and tell her that you're not going to this fucking movie, period.



And let me tell you another thing--you're not getting pooper . . . or a threesome . . . or even a fucking blow job in Vegas. You're not getting shit because she's going to spend the entire fucking week obsessing about you and your ex and what you guys did in Vegas. And she's going to take it out on you all week by doing passive aggressive shit to punish you like ordering the most expensive shit on the menu, hitting on 17, and forcing you to go see shit like Ka.

Why?

Because she's a bitch. And that's what bitches do.

Ghost, when you're ready for a divorce lawyer, shoot me a PM and I'll get you some referrals.

And no, I'm neither kidding nor exaggerating.

fucking zactly!