My Bad Fan MNC Game Experience: In MS PAINT-Pimp Appears P.8

[THujone]

I've been sitting on this for a week now and it's just eating at me so I'm going to talk about it. Last week at the game I had a confrontation with a fellow longhorn fan. Never have I wanted to kill someone as badly as I wanted to kill this guy. He caused me to miss almost the entire first quarter. I am going to tell the story in MS Paint. Everything you see is absolutely true.


So I'm sitting in the Texas Endzone (Section 25 row 49, seat 1-next to the aisle). On the row behind me, starting off of my left shoulder and going to my left were Dad, kid, kid, mom. It looked something like this:




The trouble started after our first defensive stand. We were thrilled that we stopped BAma and so we went bonkers.



As you can see, I got excited and a little of my beer splashed out of my cup. I was admittedly drunk. So he goes fucking berzerk because apparently a little of my beer splashed on him.



I apologized profusely--i hate when that happens to me. But then he added that I was "In his way" and he couldn't see the field because I was standing on TOP of the bleacher and not on the ground. Now, everyone else in the whole place that I saw was standing on top of their seat. Nevertheless, I could not have been blocking his view. This diagram demonstrates that.




Not only does he accuse me of being in HIS way, but also his KIDS' way. His kids were at least 3-5 feet to my left. I am not the size of Mark Mangino. I'm 5'8" 175 lbs. I'm a pixie. So he's all rude and cursing and shit because I won't step off of the bleacher. I finally hit my wits end and respond accordingly.



Then I realize this is one of those guys who probably beats his wife. Because as we're arguing, his wife is all:





Then he's like "Okay. I'll be right back." Now I know he's off to get security because he's a little bitch and just wants to be a tough guy.
So I hand my beer off, because the guy with the beer always gets in trouble, whether you caused it or not. So one of my buds takes it. Then security guy comes up.



The guy is like "did you refuse to step off the bleachers when this man asked you to?" ANd I say "Yes, because I'm not in his way and I have a right to stand on the bleachers." He says "No you don't." And I say, well, are you going to make the other 90+ thousand people stand off the bleachers? NOTE: at this point, I'm no longer standing on the bleacher. I just want to watch the fucking game. He doesn't like my last comment so he radios the fucking cops.

So THREE cops show up. Turns out only one was there to deal with me, the other two were there to deal with this guy, my personal hero:



So that dude sees the cops and basically goes "Okay, okay, I had a good run. I'm going to jail." He was barely able to stand up. Love it.

So the cop asks me if I told the guy to fuck off.




He tells me he's going to throw me out if I do anything else to this poor man and his family. I explain that he dropped more f-bombs, profanity, whatever than anyone else and he basically says "Look, he has kids, you lose."

Now, at this point I'm pretty pissed that this guy is ruining the game for me and my friends. So whenever the cop isn't looking, I start antagonizing the dickhead fan by mouthing things like "Why don't you eat my ass" and "Fuck yourself in the mouth." He goes apoplectic.



I weakly try to tell the cop something about the 1st Amendment and he's all



So. Bottom line. This Texas fan...who just wanted to be a hot head fuck and pick a fight, cost me and my friends almost 25% of the game. We missed Colt going out and all that shit.

I was going to yell some fucked up shit at the guy after the game but guess what? He left 10 minutes early. So on top of being a douchebag asshole, he didn't support the team and pussied out of getting verbally raped by me.

IF ANY OF YOU SHAG GUYS ARE THIS GUY, I WANT TO FIGHT YOU.

(for t-shirt update, look at page 5 or go to http://www.cafepress.com/UT_PIMP)

[Scooter]

Nicely done.

[tx ind]

any way to get UT pimp guy on the shag?

[Massive Horn]

Name the time and the place, Brah.

[THujone]

any way to get UT pimp guy on the shag?

UT Pimp guy was truly awesome. I only drew two beers but he had three. Seriously. All for himself.

[Beau Vine]

Classics.

[THujone]

Name the time and the place, Brah.

Haha. Show me a picture.

[ousucks]

While I understand, you need to learn to quit when you are behind... you knew he was a dick, you knew he had kids, you knew the cops would be dicks, you can either be right or win in these cases, you could have easily ignored him and watched the game. Indulging douchebags is not going to work out, ever.

[Quagmire]

U have a big head and beady eyes.

[tx ind]

UT Pimp guy was truly awesome. I only drew two beers but he had three. Seriously. All for himself.

I'm intrigued. Did he have the full pimp outfit on? Did it have longhorns on it? How long was the ho train?

[ousucks]

that being said, loved the post

[threesheets]

so fucking awesome.

[irishtexan]

bravo. outstanding.

[hornsup]

is that your penis youre pointing at him ¿¿¿¿¿

[HookEmTX]

I don't know why this is so funny, but I'm about to die laughing... well done, sir!

[j.e.s.-U.S.]

So, what you're saying is that the wife had a pretty nice set of boobies?

Great drawings, I dig with walkie talkie very much.

Glad you didn't get kicked out at least.

[CPHornFan]

That was pure freaking art.

[PokerFace]

I'm impressed with your MS paint skills. Who knew you were such the artist?

[ERhine]

Bravo.

[kangsta]

awesome

[kermit]

Did somebody tell on the Longhorn Pimp? His absence is probably to blame for the loss.

[omahawk]

i laughed hard.

good job.

[NEwherebutA&M]

I hate the way the rose bowl has their bleachers. To where its pretty much part of the row behind you. During halftime people acted like we, sitting on the seat we paid to much for, were in their way. I told them tough shit, don't walk on the f'n bleacher. It didn't help that the game was pissing me off.

[210816horn]

All stories on shaggy should now be in MS Paint, permanently.

[Massive Horn]

Haha. Show me a picture.

I'm on the left.

[Cluttered]

This is a fucking masterpiece. Immediate classics.

[Longhorn_Fan68]

Avatar-size for anyone that wants it:

[McNelly]

Check out the blue drool..

[Jersey Man10]

I lol'd. Hard.

[pmg]

Most impressive use of MS Paint; you could give Voo a tip or two.
However, I do detect a tipping point in the following admission: "So whenever the cop isn't looking, I start antagonizing the dickhead fan by mouthing things like "Why don't you eat my ass" and "Fuck yourself in the mouth." He goes apoplectic. "

See, then you're letting your road rage supersede your desire to watch the game in front of you.

[foghorn longhorn]

hilarious story. bonus points if the kids cried at all.

also i'm gonna need a couple minutes alone with the drawing of that guys wife.

[SubliminalHorn]

Horn on Horn violence is never OK. Unless they're complete douchebags. Then, it's OK.

[RyanUTATX]

I can't believe the cops would throw out a longhorn pimp with a cleft lip...Fuck da police

[HornsN04]

Hilarious.

Nice use of MS Paint, too.

[RyanUTATX]

I bit...because the longhorn pimp has trouble!

[T-shirt Sip]

Master-Fucking-Piece! Well done.

[gtown04]

Awesome.

[bigup2dahorns]

i immediately told the tee shirt fan in front of me to get down from standing on his seat in the first quarter, squashed that right away.

nice drawings, voo has to be jealous.

[Longhorn Messiah]

Great story & better pics.......but 5'8" guys under 180 usually lose drunk stadium arguments......

[Rissin]

haha ut pimp is awesome

[rtchorn]

Outstanding.

[creasy]

UT pimp ftw! You are like a Van Gogh of MS paint.

[kmac30]

awesome story with amazing images!

[Quadry]

Very well done.

[Str3tch]

Great fucking job!

[texhorn]

Classics.

[RamjetFDO]

[lazytexasfan]

need more pics of the wife

[Trumpette09]

Fantastic.

[dirtonia]

Well done sir!