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Thread: my co-worker sucks balls

  1. #1
    asshat TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ's Avatar
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    my co-worker sucks balls

    i make a phone call and he just stares at me the entire time. most of the time, he smells like a piss-filled diaper. his chest hair always looks like an animal trying to escape out his shirt collar. he's two months past needing a hair cut. he $#@!ing sucks.

    anyone else have a co-worker they want to punch in the face?

  2. #2
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction's Avatar
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    I have the opposite problem. I work with a 18 year old hottie that I want to do dirty things to.

  3. #3
    asshat bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. bigsteve041 can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissingInAction
    I have the opposite problem. I work with a 18 year old hottie that I want to do dirty things to.
    Now you're rolling in style. Make your move

  4. #4
    asshat Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Bacone Cap is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares?
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    does management count? if so yes.

  5. #5
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction's Avatar
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    mnangement counts twice.

  6. #6
    Yes. Yesterday the following conversation took place regarding Dolly Parton and American Idol...

    Gay dude: Dolly Parton is so cool.
    Chick: Yeah. I went to high school with her niece.
    Me: She's ok.
    Gay dude: She wrote over 300,000 songs.
    Chick: Yeah.
    Gay dude: ...and she had over 115,000 hit singles.
    Me: I don't think that's possible.
    Chick: It's possible. You're wrong.
    Me (about 10 minutes later after some calculations): If she wrote 115,000 hit singles, then she'd have a #1 single every week for 2,100 years.
    Gay dude and chick: Nope. You're wrong.

  7. #7
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction's Avatar
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    ktnhorn is a master of restraint. Thats a situation where I might have actually pissed on someone.

  8. #8
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    here's how that would have gone w/ me:

    Gay dude: Dolly Parton is so cool.
    Chick: Yeah. I went to high school with her niece.
    Me: She's ok.
    Gay dude: She wrote over 300,000 songs.
    Chick: Yeah.
    Gay dude: ...and she had over 115,000 hit singles.
    Me: are you retarded? that's not even CLOSE to possible. how dumb ARE you two?
    Chick: It's possible. You're wrong.
    Me (about 10 minutes later after some calculations): If she wrote 115,000 hit singles, then she'd have a #1 single every week for 2,100 years.
    Gay dude and chick: Nope. You're wrong.
    Me: you people are $#@!ing morons

  9. #9
    asshat SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn's Avatar
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    He's probably the master of being the $#@!ing lame one with no sense of sarcasm.

    They probably laughed at him when he walked away after he demonstrated his awesome math skills.

  10. #10
    bunghole haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? haiku is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares?
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    knoxville, very close
    to dollywood; you could be
    smothered with her boobs

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by SubliminalHorn
    He's probably the master of being the $#@!ing lame one with no sense of sarcasm.

    They probably laughed at him when he walked away after he demonstrated his awesome math skills.
    Dwight Schrute?

  12. #12
    I hereby submit a motion to ban the poster haiku before they even have a chance to be annoying.

  13. #13
    asshat SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn Shaggy Gold Club SubliminalHorn's Avatar
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    ^^

    Too late

  14. #14
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lonestarman
    I hereby submit a motion to ban the poster haiku before they even have a chance to be annoying.
    Seconded. Recomend ip track and destroy.

  15. #15
    asshat Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by knoxtnhorn
    Yes. Yesterday the following conversation took place regarding Dolly Parton and American Idol...

    Gay dude: Dolly Parton is so cool.
    Chick: Yeah. I went to high school with her niece.
    Me: She's ok.
    Gay dude: She wrote over 300,000 songs.
    Chick: Yeah.
    Gay dude: ...and she had over 115,000 hit singles.
    Me: I don't think that's possible.
    Chick: It's possible. You're wrong.
    Me (about 10 minutes later after some calculations): If she wrote 115,000 hit singles, then she'd have a #1 single every week for 2,100 years.
    Gay dude and chick: Nope. You're wrong.
    So you work with Grendel and some gay dude?

    Sorry, I know we are stopping the Punt hate, but this was like a change up right down the middle...

    I have a co-worker who laughs extremely loud at everything. And talks. And Talks. And talks. You kind of have to continue the conversation while you are walking away from her and hopefully turn the corner before she has something else to say.

  16. #16
    asshat Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog grows his own roses Snow Dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lonestarman
    I hereby submit a motion to ban the poster haiku before they even have a chance to be annoying.
    He's no MimeHorn.

  17. #17
    Cowboys and Texans fan ! tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt Shaggy Gold Club tx 3 putt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snow Dog
    Quote Originally Posted by Lonestarman
    I hereby submit a motion to ban the poster haiku before they even have a chance to be annoying.
    He's no MimeHorn.
    MimeHorn response:







































































    .

  18. #18
    asshat CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd grows his own roses CaptainEd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jt
    here's how that would have gone w/ me:

    Gay dude: Dolly Parton is so cool.
    Chick: Yeah. I went to high school with her niece.
    Me: She's ok.
    Gay dude: She wrote over 300,000 songs.
    Chick: Yeah.
    Gay dude: ...and she had over 115,000 hit singles.
    Me: are you retarded? that's not even CLOSE to possible. how dumb ARE you two?
    Gay dude and chick: Actually, we're here from Goodwill doing remedial work for you and just noticed your Dolly Parton linnear. Sorry.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainEd
    Quote Originally Posted by jt
    here's how that would have gone w/ me:

    Gay dude: Dolly Parton is so cool.
    Chick: Yeah. I went to high school with her niece.
    Me: She's ok.
    Gay dude: She wrote over 300,000 songs.
    Chick: Yeah.
    Gay dude: ...and she had over 115,000 hit singles.
    Me: are you retarded? that's not even CLOSE to possible. how dumb ARE you two?
    Gay dude and chick: Actually, we're here from Goodwill doing remedial work for you and just noticed your Dolly Parton linnear. Sorry.
    He shoots, he scores! GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!

  20. #20
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    well played ed!

  21. #21
    Well, I'm new to the place and the two idoits are sort of in the clique that run things....so, I had to bite my tongue. Plus, I'm used to hearing all sorts of stupid-assed things seeing as how I live in Knoxville.

  22. #22

    possible cretin

    hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain's Avatar
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    Yeah, isn't she considered some sort of deity out there, like Loretta Lynn?

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Lonestarman
    I hereby submit a motion to ban the poster haiku before they even have a chance to be annoying.
    You'll have to notify President ProTempore Hayden_Horn to put it on the agenda for the next meeting. Then you won't "submit a motion", you'll "offer a resolution" because Haiku Bannination procedures exist under Article VII, paragraph 3, subpart G of the Bylaws. It looks like Brother MissingInAction will help co-sponsor the legislation.

    Christ - doesn't anyone believe in procedure anymore? Brother Mac wouldn't make that kind of mistake.

  24. #24
    asshat BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC slams and goes hard. BRC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sneezy
    You'll have to notify President ProTempore Hayden_Horn to put it on the agenda for the next meeting. Then you won't "submit a motion", you'll "offer a resolution" because Haiku Bannination procedures exist under Article VII, paragraph 3, subpart G of the Bylaws. It looks like Brother MissingInAction will help co-sponsor the legislation.

    Christ - doesn't anyone believe in procedure anymore? Brother Mac wouldn't make that kind of mistake.
    I know who can write us a procedure manual...

  25. #25
    asshat Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw's Avatar
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    i love my job and really like almost all of the people i work with, but goddamn, do some people lose all sense of etiquette and common courtesy when they get to work? my main bitches (some of these could be attributed to the folks in the other firm we share our floor with):

    1. flush the goddammed toilet when you're done. nothing ruins my day, especially right before or after lunch, more than walking into the head and seeing a bunch of nappy crap and tp in the toilet. don't most people stop doing this at around age 8?

    2. clean up after yourself in the $#@!ing shower/locker room when you're done. jesus christ, there is a reason there are 8 lockers there - use them. put your crap in one when you're done. this isnt your house. i dont want to see your bar of soap with your nasty ass pubes all over it on the ledge in the shower

    3. if you take the last cup of coffee from the pot without making a new pot and its before noon, i should be able to come over to your desk and punch you in the $#@!ing face without further notice or warning. it takes 2 minutes

    4. look, i'm glad you enjoy having a tv and your ipod in a docking station in your office. but if you're going to blast them durng work hours, shut the $#@!ing door. there is a reason some of us choose NOT to have a tv and stereo in our offices - so we can concentrate

    5. don't take the newspaper from the breakroom where some of us eat sometimes to the crapper and then bring it back when you're done. bring your own paper for that or just leave it in there. nobody wants your poop germs brought back into the kitchen, thanks

  26. #26
    asshat TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TJ's Avatar
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    3. if you take the last cup of coffee from the pot without making a new pot and its before noon, i should be able to come over to your desk and punch you in the $#@!ing face without further notice or warning. it takes 2 minutes
    if you kill the joe, you make some mo'. c'mon, baby!!

  27. #27
    Head White Devil rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic Shaggy Gold Club rage-a-holic's Avatar
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    I work with a fat ass, fortysomething Scottish prick. His cube is decorated with Hilary crap and he thinks the entire Clinton family $#@!s gold bricks. He is always talking about how much America sucks and the greatness of Scotland. He constantly tries to create work for other people to do because he desperately wants to be a manager and it will never happen due to the fact that everyone that knows him hates him. He sends emails to management if he sees someone listening to music or watching videos, even though it's perfectly fine to do it. He cusses and makes fun of people, but if he takes offense to something, he immediately reports it to HR. He went on a crusade to ban the words "retard" and "retarded" because one of his cousins is a tard. We got an official email from HR asking us to not use those words. Seriously. If I ever see him outside of work, I'm going to cut his head off with a dull knife.

  28. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by BostonRC
    I know who can write us a procedure manual...
    HOOK 'EM HIGH LIKE AN EAGLE SOARS!

  29. #29
    Both of my managers are aggy.

    They suck balls.

  30. #30
    asshat Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Straw
    2. clean up after yourself in the $#@!ing shower/locker room when you're done. jesus christ, there is a reason there are 8 lockers there - use them. put your crap in one when you're done. this isnt your house. i dont want to see your bar of soap with your nasty ass pubes all over it on the ledge in the shower
    Maybe it's time to quit that port-a-john pumping job.

  31. #31
    asshat Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker grows his own roses Horn_Spanker's Avatar
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    Old people suck! If you hit 65, $#@!ing quit!

    There's this old $#@! still hanging around my office, does the old woman clearing of the throat every couple minutes, smells old and musty.

    Isn't that what Sun City is for?

  32. #32
    I used to sit near a chick who fought with her boyfriend on a daily basis. The first day, it was kind of funny. After about a week, I wanted her dead. Literally ---every day.

  33. #33
    asshat Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Jack Straw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superhero
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Straw
    2. clean up after yourself in the $#@!ing shower/locker room when you're done. jesus christ, there is a reason there are 8 lockers there - use them. put your crap in one when you're done. this isnt your house. i dont want to see your bar of soap with your nasty ass pubes all over it on the ledge in the shower
    Maybe it's time to quit that port-a-john pumping job.
    lawyer. building on greenbelt. apparently someone in the engineering firm on the other side of the building also hits the greenbelt before work or at lunch and thinks the locker room is all his/hers. i just grab paper towels and pick up their soap and shampoo bottle and chunck them, but its the principle

  34. #34
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by knoxtnhorn
    I used to sit near a chick who fought with her boyfriend on a daily basis. The first day, it was kind of funny. After about a week, I wanted her dead. Literally ---every day.
    i have one of those too. she happens to be the coolest chick in my office though and the only one i really get along w/. we IM all day talking $#@! about all the other nutjobs in the office.

    i also have a chick who's dad is my boss and she's a ridiculous brat who knows i don't like her. add that she lost her unborn child 2 months before it was due to an $#@! in a car accident and she's an emotional time bomb every single day. the slightest thing sets her off.

    i have another one who is 25, over ~200 lbs, has a crush on me and is intensely bitter about the fact that i only have eyes for skinny blond hotties (i think i represent every guy ever to her). she is also a cancer survivor at her young age and it's coming back (i think that's what's going on - i purposely avoid asking about it). she's on some birth control/hormone therapy that is jacking w/ her pretty good and she's a $#@!ing loon the last 6 weeks or so. her roommate/bf's dad died last week.

    the crazy chain smoking wannabe cougar i posted about before has apparently been "buying" cars and not paying for them. like 3 in the last 2 months. we even had the guys from champion coming by our office every day for 2 weeks looking for their car. she and the fat chick above are in a fight to the death and she hasn't been in lately, thank god.

    just writing all this right now makes me feel like calling in this morning. :(

  35. #35
    I have this $#@! boss that always tries to be hilarious, but fails miserably. For example, when I walk in with some food, every $#@!ing time she says, "Did you get some for everyone? Cause if not, that's just rude." It takes everything I have not to punch her in the throat. It's like anywhere she goes, there is a wake of awkward fake laughs that follows, and she has no idea. The worst part is that she thinks she's the coolest person alive, but she's totally $#@!ing boring and ugly as $#@!. I really want to tell her that.

  36. #36
    asshat Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22's Avatar
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    ^ sounds like you work in The Office.

  37. #37
    Damn, I never even thought about that. I work for the female Michael Scott.

  38. #38
    asshat Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard. Jograves slams and goes hard.
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    There's this country-ass lady in my office who has to insert herself and her life into every conversation that people are having. If a group of us are in the cafe discussing someone's father who had a stroke or something, she'll butt in and say, "yeah, well, my third cousin twice removed had a stroke and he was sick for years and years. We all had to take care of him but all he would do is slobber all over himself and piss the bed. He finally died. But, then my mom had a venereal disease and it was a pain having to change her adult diapers. Then, my brother stubbed his toe and someone had to clip it for him." It's like this with everything.

    I just walk out of the room now when she enters.

  39. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by jt
    Quote Originally Posted by knoxtnhorn
    I used to sit near a chick who fought with her boyfriend on a daily basis. The first day, it was kind of funny. After about a week, I wanted her dead. Literally ---every day.
    i have one of those too. she happens to be the coolest chick in my office though and the only one i really get along w/. we IM all day talking $#@! about all the other nutjobs in the office.

    i also have a chick who's dad is my boss and she's a ridiculous brat who knows i don't like her. add that she lost her unborn child 2 months before it was due to an $#@! in a car accident and she's an emotional time bomb every single day. the slightest thing sets her off.

    i have another one who is 25, over ~200 lbs, has a crush on me and is intensely bitter about the fact that i only have eyes for skinny blond hotties (i think i represent every guy ever to her). she is also a cancer survivor at her young age and it's coming back (i think that's what's going on - i purposely avoid asking about it). she's on some birth control/hormone therapy that is jacking w/ her pretty good and she's a $#@!ing loon the last 6 weeks or so. her roommate/bf's dad died last week.

    the crazy chain smoking wannabe cougar i posted about before has apparently been "buying" cars and not paying for them. like 3 in the last 2 months. we even had the guys from champion coming by our office every day for 2 weeks looking for their car. she and the fat chick above are in a fight to the death and she hasn't been in lately, thank god.

    just writing all this right now makes me feel like calling in this morning. :(

    So you actually work in a soap opera.

  40. #40
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    no. soap operas have hot crazy chicks and guys get caught in compromising situations because they are $#@!ing multiple hot crazy chicks. none of that exists at my work. although the one cool chick w/ the jackass boyfriend does have epic tits, long legs and a pretty face, she also has a bit of a gut - enough to keep me from thinking about $#@!ing her. i would hit it w/ a couple of margaritas in me though, no doubt.


    update on crazy car thief cougar: boss man gets a call and says "where were you yesterday?" as he's walking down the hall to his office. i pop off w/ "hi tina!" to the rest of the office in general, because we all know who just called w/ another bull$#@! story. then he lays into her about the kia dealership calling him about her again, so i wonder if she's got ANOTHER car... as the world turns...

  41. #41
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    and right on cue, "tina" just walked in the door. she's already hacking up a lung (about a pack and a half a day), and her cheap perfume meant to cover her smoke smell is wafting into my cube.

    t minus 5 minutes for her to try to get everyone to ask her about her latest drama.

  42. #42

    possible cretin

    hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain is a rep whore. hitbyatrain's Avatar
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    then he lays into her about the kia dealership calling him about her again, so i wonder if she's got ANOTHER car... as the world turns...
    $#@!. Who steals a KIA?

  43. #43
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    just looked outside - she pulled up in a mitsubishi convertible. the ac just kicked on and is blowing her stench on me.

  44. #44
    asshat Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22 Shaggy Gold Club Eastwood22's Avatar
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    C'mon, jt. A little whale tail never hurt anybody.

  45. #45
    thanks obama jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt GORN jt's Avatar
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    apparently she is just "test driving" these cars. and thinks that you can take them for 28 days and there's nothing they can do to her.


    eastwood - i don't $#@! fat. i'll $#@! ugly, because bitches all look the same in the dark, but you can't hide fat w/ a lightswitch.

  46. #46
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction Shaggy Gold Club MissingInAction's Avatar
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    eastwood - i don't $#@! fat. i'll $#@! ugly, because bitches all look the same in the dark, but you can't hide fat w/ a lightswitch.
    You CAN hide it with a fifth of whiskey though.

  47. #47
    I got a co-worker who feels its her obligation to add her advice and suggestion on EVERYTHING. Unfortunately we are the only 2 sales people in our office. She's been at the company over 10 years so of course, she knows everything about every customer. hell, I just closed a deal this week that made my quarter and she tried to say that she was the one that started talking to the customer... 4 $#@!ING YEARS AGO!
    Another thing, she giggles when she's on the phone. Customer, co-worker, whatever, she's always giggling. She's at home with a migraine today which means I get to actually enjoy work today.

  48. #48
    asshat Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero is a rep whore. Superhero's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by knoxtnhorn
    I used to sit near a chick who fought with her boyfriend on a daily basis. The first day, it was kind of funny. After about a week, I wanted her dead. Literally ---every day.
    I had a coworker who argued with his wife everyday, several times a day. We (everyone else in the bullpen area) nearly lost it when he argued with her for 1.5 hours about why he should be allowed to go biking instead of working on the yard.

    For giggles, we kept track of how many personal calls he got everyday. I think it topped out at 12, with a minimum of 3.

  49. #49
    asshat Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Mike_Tyson's Avatar
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    I got a co-worker who shows up late to work by 20 minutes but on days she's on time and someone else is running a little behind (3 minutes) she'll call her boss and say, "Hey, is Deb coming in today? Oh she is...well, she's not here yet." She also takes about 4 smoke breaks...I should start smoking so I don't have to work so much because God forbid the 20 minutes I spend on the net! She also starts conversations with, "Question" and she'll tell someone, "We are not to use those forms anymore PER (somebody)." God it grates on my nerves! She'll also talk about her spiritual side and then when someone e-mails her about doing something she'll yell (and I am not joking) "Goddamn it!" And get this, she is the HR lady.

    I have another co-worker is a $#@!-off artist. Man is he good but he's in Safety so he can get by with it. Nice guy, I like him as far as bullshitting goes but his lady's man demeanor gets on everyone's nerves because he thinks he's hot $#@! by pulling in slump busters. We're talking 4's and I am not exaggerating. He showed me a picture of a chick he said he nailed, said he just rolled over and walked out after they were done. I asked, "How many times did you have to roll?" His reply, "Fat girls need love too."

    One co-worker got fired for making a $200,000 billing mistake, yes, $200,000. She took 8 smokes a day lasting a minimum of 15 minutes each. Her longest smoke break lasted 1 hour and 10 minutes. She was also into tarot cards and $#@!. The only good thing I can say about her was that I could make her cry from laughing so hard.

  50. #50
    At least y'all have co-workers. You should be grateful. All I have is another Michael Scottesque boss, a secretary that gets pissed everytime I ask her for something b/c she's 30 years older than me, and a jr. associate I actually like but doesn't know he's getting cut in August.

    I wish I had more people around at work, even if they were like the characters described above. Our Dallas office has 20 times as many people, and even though I hear about similar drama up there, I'd still rather work there. As it is, I walk into my office, bill my hours, and except for hearing my secretary talking to herself, I have almost no contact w/ anyone. And being new to Austin, 4-5 days a week basically consist of work, working out, making dinner, watching TV, and bedtime. I live for weekends and those are mostly spent on the road.

    So be grateful for your characters. They keep you entertained.

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