Ask a black man.... Now With MS Paint pg. 13

[Prepuce of Doom]

OT Sorry if my responses slow down but I am watching the 30 for 30 so I can look for ways to idolize Pablo Escobar.

Which Scarface poster do you own? Cocaine on the Desk, Black and White, or Say Hello to my Li-ul Fren? Why is Scarface so popular with black people? Why does a Scarface poster (often framed--you know, to keep it classy...) seem to be a required element of black home decor?

How credible do you (both individually as well as the black community as a whole) find the theory that Jesse Jackson was somehow behind the assassination of Dr. King?

[Bob Lives!]

what's your problem w/ mayonnaise?

[Bookman]

What does this mean?

Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.

[neverwenttoUT]

Do white people really smell like wet dogs when it rains?

Some of them do.

why are black people so much more athletic and tall than everyone else?

do you think you are any less smart than other races?

do you think black people feel more entitled as a race than other races?

why do black people like pit bulls so much more than other dogs?

what do you think of the hip hop culture?

1. Genetics. when you think about it, running seems to always have been a part of our culture in some format along with always being outdoors. We weren't a "lazy" race when you look at history although we didn't really have a choice.

2. No, but I used to think I was at a disadvantage because I went to an all black school, but once I made it to college and heard some of the questions coming from other students that thought went away, and I didn't go to an HBCU.

3. No, not by a longshot.

4. Because they are aggressive dogs. We like aggressiveness.

5.Hiphop culture is the same as its always been, the people complaining are just getting older.

Are your other favorite pro sports teams the Yankees and Cowboys?

Brave and Saints

How do you feel about tipping?

Already been touched on. Read young man.

Not necessarily limited to a black question these days...BUT

If your chosen career path may involve frequent foot chases with the Police, is the fashion statement of 'Bustn a Sag' really that $#@!ing important?

Trying to hold up your pants and sprinting for your life...not a good combo. And yes it is a fashion statement.

However, I do not know the origins. Would guess ill fitting prison clothes?

1. Yes, and we can pick up our pants when its necessary.
2. The origins is prison though, ironically it was associated with $#@!s in prison, but most young black men don't know that history lol.

Which pawns...?

The Re-Run or The Kid n Play?

Kid n Play

Serious socio-political question:

Do you feel that a lack of a common language, as Hispanics have Spanish, has hurt the cohesiveness of the African-American community?

Fun pop-culture question:

When black people are imitating white people's voices, why do they make them sound like half-gay British detectives?

1. We do have a common language, its English.

2. Its actually the way most of you sound, especially in the business world.

[u2-horn]

So how do you arrive at the Lakers, Braves, and Saints as your favorite teams? Where are you from/where did you grow up?

[neverwenttoUT]

shouldn't you have said "axe away" in the OP?

I'm sure if you could hear me talk it would have sounded that way.

Why do white celebrities always apologize to Jessee Jackson or Al Sharpton after being caught saying something racist, and which one is better (i.e. which one will all black people grant us forgiveness)?

Because white people see those two as the leaders of the black race. If I had to choose one or the other it would be Jesse.

Which Scarface poster do you own? Cocaine on the Desk, Black and White, or Say Hello to my Li-ul Fren? Why is Scarface so popular with black people? Why does a Scarface poster (often framed--you know, to keep it classy...) seem to be a required element of black home decor?

I personally do not own any Scarface posters. Scarface is popular because black people think they can relate to his plights and struggle and they find his story inspiring since he became a kingpin. They think they can emulate that without the horrific ending. The poster is one of those, "you're not black unless..." kind of things.
How credible do you (both individually as well as the black community as a whole) find the theory that Jesse Jackson was somehow behind the assassination of Dr. King?

Not credible at at all.

what's your problem w/ mayonnaise?

We love mayo!

What does this mean?

You have a moral choice.

So how do you arrive at the Lakers, Braves, and Saints as your favorite teams? Where are you from/where did you grow up?

Partially raised in Louisiana in my early years. No local basketball team and my father was an avid Lakers fan so naturally I became a fan as well. Blame TBS for the Braves thing and Saints were the local team.

[HenryJames]

Menthol cigarettes. Why?

[Snacks]

i want to answer the menthol question... but i'm gonna hang up and listen.

[HenryJames]

And have you ever seen this man?

[neverwenttoUT]

Menthol cigarettes. Why?

1.Not a smoker so I honestly couldn't tell you, Hoosier seems to be able to answer this one for you though.

2.Naw I don't know who he is officer. I have never seen him a day before in my life. I don't know where he stays or whom he is normally around.

[GhostOfTomJoad]

My BIL is black (been married to my sister for 20+ years). They have 2 teenagers. I've been to more family gatherings w/ my BIL's family than my own. But I wonder about two things:

1. are my niece & nephew black or mixed race?
2. no matter how much my BIL's family loves me & my barbecue, do they look down on me because I use a traditional handshake & not a bro shake?

Thanks I'lll hang up & listen.

[spankytoes]

What's the deal with barber shops? I go to Pro-Cuts, pay some cute Asian lady to massage my scalp with her clippers, pay and leave. What's the allure of letting a guy cut your hair and hanging out all day?

Why Southern Baptist? Why not Catholic or Lutheran or Judaism?

After years of oppression and fighting for equality, is having a black man in the White House as satisfying as you thought it would be? (Beyond the obvious inspiration of being able to acheive more as a black man)

[next2naus]

I'm starting to feel like the black guys should have their own permanent sub-forum.

[neverwenttoUT]

My BIL is black (been married to my sister for 20+ years). They have 2 teenagers. I've been to more family gatherings w/ my BIL's family than my own. But I wonder about two things:

1. are my niece & nephew black or mixed race?
2. no matter how much my BIL's family loves me & my barbecue, do they look down on me because I use a traditional handshake & not a bro shake?

Thanks I'lll hang up & listen.

1. mixed
2. No they do not look down on you and probably respect you for being your self. Easiest way to get black people to look down/laugh at you is to try to be something you're not just because your in the presence of black people.

What's the deal with barber shops? I go to Pro-Cuts, pay some cute Asian lady to massage my scalp with her clippers, pay and leave. What's the allure of letting a guy cut your hair and hanging out all day?

Why Southern Baptist? Why not Catholic or Lutheran or Judaism?

After years of oppression and fighting for equality, is having a black man in the White House as satisfying as you thought it would be? (Beyond the obvious inspiration of being able to acheive more as a black man)

1. A barbershop is more than just about getting your haircut. Its like a social gathering. The barber knows every thing going on in the neighborhood, sports and women are talked about as well.
2. Southern Baptist is the less boring environment out of all your options.
3. Having a black president in no means meant an end to the black struggle, anybody that believes otherwise is fooling themselves.

[LonghornJones]

Do you wear Ask Body Spray?

Do you look down on lighter-colored black people then say a Wesley Snipes type?

[JSB]

This has crept into mainstream youth, but it started with the hip-hop community, but why are flat billed caps so popular these days. IMHO they really look ridiculous

[LonghornJones]

This has crept into mainstream youth, but it started with the hip-hop community, but why are flat billed caps so popular these days. IMHO they really look ridiculous

And why are they worn off to the side? With the tags still on?

[Bacone Cap]

1. mixed
1. A barbershop is more than just about getting your haircut. Its like a social gathering. The barber knows every thing going on in the neighborhood, sports and women are talked about as well.

1A. You are assuming he's (or his sister or in this case his sista) white, therefore a mixed baby.
1B. So the barber is the Gossip Girl of the black community?

[neverwenttoUT]

Do you wear Ask Body Spray?

Do you look down on lighter-colored black people then say a Wesley Snipes type?

No to both questions. I know people who do though.

This has crept into mainstream youth, but it started with the hip-hop community, but why are flat billed caps so popular these days. IMHO they really look ridiculous

The fact that you think they look ridiculous and the majority of blacks think its fashionable is not surprising.

And why are they worn off to the side? With the tags still on?

Depending on the city your in, the side the cap is worn on represents the side of town the person is from. The tags are left on the majority of the time to let people know they are authentic.

1A. You are assuming he's (or his sister or in this case his sista) white, therefore a mixed baby.
1B. So the barber is the Gossip Girl of the black community?

1a. The context that he used led me to that assumption.
1b. In a way, yes.

[Bacone Cap]

And why are they worn off to the side? With the tags still on?

so they can be returned to the store they were stolen from. duh.

[enjay]

how come black men refuse to sit more than 2 in a booth even if it's made for 6?

also, when i waited tables in college, i never had a problem with black people not tipping, but why do they always make a big deal of it? i.e. making me stand there while they count it out. or put it directly in my hand. or go out of their way and walk up to me when they're leaving to hand it to me. why not just leave it on the table like every one else?

[GraciePie]

Are you on the down low?

[GraciePie]

I'm starting to feel like the black guys should have their own permanent sub-forum.

We call it Derkaville.

[orange dream]

Why do black guys like to drive with their driver's seat pushed so far back?

How do you get your seat back so far, sometimes it looks like driving from the backseat almost (I can't find a good pic online but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about)?

[Bacone Cap]

Depending on the city your in, the side the cap is worn on represents the side of town the person is from.

so facing straight ahead is North? If so, why don't you see many black people wearing caps straight forward or backwards (Southside)? ...or is it that every city is split down the middle like the part in the aforementioned "English detectives" haircuts?....(gangs--east coast/west coast---like Snoop Dogg and California Gurls). 4 main directions (NSEW) should mean not so black and white but rather a black, fuscia, white, and gray.

[Ducksmith]

And have you ever seen this man?

I wanna know where the gold??

[fawnknutsen]

Sagging and showing your ass is juvenile, going duffy means I go hard, or I go crazy. Anyway he is telling everyone he is a real gangsta and he goes hard in the streets. If you have beef with him he will come after you and he has big guns which he conveniently displays for you. Also it appears he has a mixtape.

I think this is my favorite answer so far.

[SW1TCH]

Ever used this?

[Horn Chick]

If a Black person kicked in my door and stole my jewelry, would they know the value of the 20+ year old James Avery pieces even though they are mostly silver? Would they take it to a pawn shop, give it to their GF, or ditch it in the woods and only take the gold?

Given the racial make up of my neighborhood, it's more likely that a White or Hispanic person did this, but it doesn't hurt to ask. So far I haven't found it in the pawn shops I've checked.

Would they care that I am really really sad about losing my stuff, as a lot of it had great sentimental value if not great monetary value?

[Ducksmith]

is it relaxer then jheri curl?

Is it still popular in black culture to put plastic over the couch or recliner?

Florida Evans or Weezy Jefferson?

[neverwenttoUT]

how come black men refuse to sit more than 2 in a booth even if it's made for 6?

also, when i waited tables in college, i never had a problem with black people not tipping, but why do they always make a big deal of it? i.e. making me stand there while they count it out. or put it directly in my hand. or go out of their way and walk up to me when they're leaving to hand it to me. why not just leave it on the table like every one else?

1. Insecurites of being seen as possibly homosexual. You see the next question I was asked?
2. Because its a big deal that black people do not tip, so those of us that do make it a big deal to show we are tipping.

Are you on the down low?

No, and this down low epidemic is yet another slight at the black man. It is not as widespread as people are being led to believe.

Why do black guys like to drive with their driver's seat pushed so far back?

How do you get your seat back so far, sometimes it looks like driving from the backseat almost (I can't find a good pic online but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about)?

Its more comfortable that way and easier on your back. You should try it. Also in regards to having beef with other people if people can't make out who you are they can't shoot at you.

so facing straight ahead is North? If so, why don't you see many black people wearing caps straight forward or backwards (Southside)? ...or is it that every city is split down the middle like the part in the aforementioned "English detectives" haircuts?....(gangs--east coast/west coast---like Snoop Dogg and California Gurls). 4 main directions (NSEW) should mean not so black and white but rather a black, fuscia, white, and gray.

What? You are making it more complex than it is.

Ever used this?

[img][/img]

Before my time.

[PINCHE PENDEJO]

Why do black people take their sweet time to walk through a crosswalk when most people will hurry up a little to get out of the way?

[ajax]

This will be terrifically educational for me, because even though I grew up on the border of Harlem and Washington Heights, and then went to high school in West Garfield, well, childhood was a long time away and I've forgotten everything I knew about black culture. Now I spend my time wearing ascots and summering in Tahoe.

First question - you go to a party, you meet two girls, both equally attractive to you - one white, one black. Which girl do you talk to? Why?

If your answer is the white girl, how do you think the black girl will react?

[neverwenttoUT]

If a Black person kicked in my door and stole my jewelry, would they know the value of the 20+ year old James Avery pieces even though they are mostly silver? Would they take it to a pawn shop, give it to their GF, or ditch it in the woods and only take the gold?

Given the racial make up of my neighborhood, it's more likely that a White or Hispanic person did this, but it doesn't hurt to ask. So far I haven't found it in the pawn shops I've checked.

Would they care that I am really really sad about losing my stuff, as a lot of it had great sentimental value if not great monetary value?

They wouldn't know the value, but they would make up a story in regards to the value to whom they are trying to sell it to. And a black person would try to sell it on the street before settling for pawn shop. Which hood are you in? I'll check for you.

is it relaxer then jheri curl?

Is it still popular in black culture to put plastic over the couch or recliner?

Florida Evans or Weezy Jefferson?

1. yes
2. Only the older folks still do that.
3.Evans, she had more of a struggle

Why do black people take their sweet time to walk through a crosswalk when most people will hurry up a little to get out of the way?

Because nobody is brave enough to hit us, so you have no choice but to wait.

This will be terrifically educational for me, because even though I grew up on the border of Harlem and Washington Heights, and then went to high school in West Garfield, well, childhood was a long time away and I've forgotten everything I knew about black culture. Now I spend my time wearing ascots and summering in Tahoe.

First question - you go to a party, you meet two girls, both equally attractive to you - one white, one black. Which girl do you talk to? Why?

If your answer is the white girl, how do you think the black girl will react?

Black girl, we have more of a chance of having something in common. If I did pick white girl, black girl would be highly offended, probably cuss me out and disown her white friend.

[mez2]

who is on your Mount Rushmore of Hip-Hop, and why?

[gsoda3]

do you realize you're a bit racist?

[MrsLonghornLawyer]

Because nobody is brave enough to hit us, so you have no choice but to wait.

I've often wondered this too, and thought this might be the answer. Thanks for confirming. This is a very educational thread!

[neverwenttoUT]

who is on your Mount Rushmore of Hip-Hop, and why?

Bun B and Pimp C. I was raised in Port Arthur so I was brought up on there music. Doesn't hurt they are arguably top 3 duo of all time IMO.
Tupac-I don't think there is another rap artist that had a bigger impact than he has.
Rakim-Changed the direction of hip hop in the late 80s.

do you realize you're a bit racist?

I realize that its not impossible for a black person to be racist and some don't even realize it when they are. But I don't think I fit that bill.

[mez2]

Bun B and Pimp C. I was raised in Port Arthur so I was brought up on there music. Doesn't hurt they are arguably top 3 duo of all time IMO.
Tupac-I don't think there is another rap artist that had a bigger impact than he has.
Rakim-Changed the direction of hip hop in the late 80s.



I realize that its not impossible for a black person to be racist and some don't even realize it when they are. But I don't think I fit that bill.

no Biggie? interesting. not that i don't dont disagree with your choices, i guess if you were raised east coast, he'd be there

[Brad Wesley]

This thread rocks.

1. Are you down with OPP?
2. Do black people get sunburned?
3. I have a question about the concept of being "ashy". White people get dry skin and therefore get "ashy" but since our skin is white you can't tell. Do you feel God somehow screwed you over?
4. Do black people love stereotypical movies about black people like "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" and "Hollywood Shuffle"?
5. Why do you call your mother's sister "ahunt" instead pronouncing it like it should be (more like ant)? Do you realize this makes you sound like a half-gay British detective? Same thing with strength vs strennth.

Finally...
Why don't black people make more of a big deal about racial lessons we can learn from the original Star Wars triology? Within 30 minutes a brotha is introduced into the trilogy (Lando Calrisian) he $#@!s over the rebels. He sells out his BFF and gets him put into carbonite and gets Luke's hand cut off. But then in Return of the Jedi, Han Solo (fearless white warrior) helps save Lando from falling into the enormous sand vagina therefore showing overwhelming forgiveness for $#@!ing him over. Further, Han let's Lando fly his ship* in the final battle scene. In the end, who blows up the Death Star? Lando. What an amazing character he was. He went from near lynching to hero in the matter of 1.5 movies. Awesome.

*I thought Lando was going to take Han's ship back since he lost it in a bet and just jet the scene like a real gangsta.

[neverwenttoUT]

no Biggie? interesting. not that i don't dont disagree with your choices, i guess if you were raised east coast, he'd be there

I don't think Biggie has enough of a catalog to support the claims of being one of the best ever.

This thread rocks.

1. Are you down with OPP?
2. Do black people get sunburned?
3. I have a question about the concept of being "ashy". White people get dry skin and therefore get "ashy" but since our skin is white you can't tell. Do you feel God somehow screwed you over?
4. Do black people love stereotypical movies about black people like "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" and "Hollywood Shuffle"?
5. Why do you call your mother's sister "ahunt" instead pronouncing it like it should be (more like ant)? Do you realize this makes you sound like a half-gay British detective? Same thing with strength vs strennth.

Finally...
Why don't black people make more of a big deal about racial lessons we can learn from the original Star Wars triology? Within 30 minutes a brotha is introduced into the trilogy (Lando Calrisian) he $#@!s over the rebels. He sells out his BFF and gets him put into carbonite and gets Luke's hand cut off. But then in Return of the Jedi, Han Solo (fearless white warrior) helps save Lando from falling into the enormous sand vagina therefore showing overwhelming forgiveness for $#@!ing him over. Further, Han let's Lando fly his ship* in the final battle scene. In the end, who blows up the Death Star? Lando. What an amazing character he was. He went from near lynching to hero in the matter of 1.5 movies. Awesome.

*I thought Lando was going to take Han's ship back since he lost it in a bet and just jet the scene like a real gangsta.

1. Yep
2. Yes some worse than others. It's more of a skin peeling thing for us though.
3. lmao, no, both skin colors have there advantages and disadvantages.
4. yep they become classics in our culture. We love us some black exploitation.
5. I thought "aunt" was the normal term. I think its a Louisiana thing though.
Finally...90% of black people have never watched a Star Wars movie in there lifetime.

[HenryJames]

Your thoughts on 'most definitely.'

[Gehrig]

Shouldn't we be aksing you questions?

[GraciePie]

Bun B and Pimp C. I was raised in Port Arthur so I was brought up on there music. Doesn't hurt they are arguably top 3 duo of all time IMO.

Golden Triangle holla!

[neverwenttoUT]

Your thoughts on 'most definitely.'

There should be a collective meeting to ban the word from all post game interviews or better yet any interview involving an athlete.

Shouldn't we be aksing you questions?

Isn't that what everyone is doing?

[pacman]

Your thoughts on 'most definitely.'

and already?

Also, why does it seem most black folks have to spend every dime they have on artificial $#@! like chains, rims, shoes, etc?

[orange dream]

Its more comfortable that way and easier on your back. You should try it. Also in regards to having beef with other people if people can't make out who you are they can't shoot at you.

I always drive with my seat all the way back but it still stops before I get to the vertical bar between the front and back seats. What I am talking about it how do you get it to go back where you're sitting basically in line with the windows for the back doors.

Very informative thread by the way. If I can figure out how to give reputation points some will be coming your way.

[neverwenttoUT]

and already?

Also, why does it seem most black folks have to spend every dime they have on artificial $#@! like chains, rims, shoes, etc?

Already=I agree with what your saying. Because most would rather spend money on frivolous things to show others of there wealth instead of saving it.

I always drive with my seat all the way back but it still stops before I get to the vertical bar between the front and back seats. What I am talking about it how do you get it to go back where you're sitting basically in line with the windows for the back doors.

Very informative thread by the way. If I can figure out how to give reputation points some will be coming your way.

Recline the seat as far back as you can with still being able to see over the dashboard, and slide seat position as far back as it can go. You have to have some height to be able to pull this off though.

[That Guy]

Everytime I see a black man wearing longhorn paraphenalia I jump to one of three conclusions:
-Hey, there is hoosierhorn.
-Hey, there is brothahorn.
-Hey, there is neverwenttoUT.

Does this make me racist? I think it makes me an optimist, because you guys are always so well spoken!

[spankytoes]

If you dawn the "fro", is it manditory for you to have a hair pick somewhere in there?

Why drums? Why not guitars or the triangle?

Whitley from A Different World, Mrs. Huxtable from the Cosby Show or Ashley from Fresh Prince?