+ Reply to Thread
Page 200 of 294 FirstFirst ... 100 150 190 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 210 250 ... LastLast
Results 9,951 to 10,000 of 14690

Thread: Wives and the Stupid $#@! They Say/Do

  1. #9951
    asshat Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain Shaggy Gold Club Legacy of Kain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    2,207
    I complimented my wife on the dress she was wearing yesterday. She disagreed with me and said it made her look fat. I told her I was going to stop complimenting her.

    Mi tono no estuvo apreciado.

  2. #9952
    asshat Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Atlanta, Ga
    Posts
    12,145
    Quote Originally Posted by Legacy of Kain View Post
    I complimented my wife on the dress she was wearing yesterday. She disagreed with me and said it made her look fat. I told her I was going to stop complimenting her.

    Mi tono no estuvo apreciado.
    When women say that they just want you to tell them again that they look nice.

  3. #9953
    asshat Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago, Texas
    Posts
    10,402
    Quote Originally Posted by Legacy of Kain View Post
    I complimented my wife on the dress she was wearing yesterday. She disagreed with me and said it made her look fat. I told her I was going to stop complimenting her.

    Mi tono no estuvo apreciado.
    the only reason you complemented her out of the blue is because:
    1. you $#@!ed up
    2. you cheated on her... see #1
    3. you are lying

    so why, again, did you compliment her on a dress without her asking for your opinion?

    you cannot ever compliment a women out of the blue without it being a lie. despite them always telling you "why can't you be like Jenny's husband, he always tells her she is beautiful and compliments her on everything!"
    Last edited by Speedtrucker; 08-21-2013 at 07:47 PM.

  4. #9954
    asshat Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Atlanta, Ga
    Posts
    12,145
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedtrucker View Post
    the only reason you complemented her out of the blue is because:
    1. you $#@!ed up
    2. you cheated on her... see #1
    3. you are lying

    so why, again, did you compliment her on a dress without her asking for your opinion?

    you cannot ever compliment a women out of the blue without it being a lie. despite them always telling you "why can't you be like Jenny's husband, he always tells her she is beautiful and compliments her on everything!"
    Left out "You were high and confused her with someone else"

  5. #9955
    asshat NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse Shaggy Gold Club NameAlreadyInUse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Austin
    Posts
    5,799
    Quote Originally Posted by Horn_Spanker View Post
    We have five PCs, three laptops and two cell phones. All connected to the internet. The one I'm on is the one she wants to "borrow", when I'm finished with whatever I'm doing, to check Facebook. $#@!
    I get this all the $#@!ing time.

  6. #9956
    dipshit Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Henry Rowengartner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    West Campus
    Posts
    82
    Quote Originally Posted by Dolemite View Post
    I know because I measured it in a car so that I would know about how many laps it would take to run 6 miles.
    You can run 6 miles? Awesome dude!


  7. #9957
    dipshit Not From Texas is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Not From Texas is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Not From Texas is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Not From Texas is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Not From Texas is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? Not From Texas is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares?
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    North East
    Posts
    32
    She wanted us to take the kid to the park when I got home from work.

    Tuesday night I told her to make sure everything was ready to go and gave her a verbal list. I wanted to leave at 3 as soon as I got home to avoid traffic.

    Get home at 3

    Change clothes and say lets go... she says little one hasn't had lunch yet. So is making her a sand which. Then she asks me to take the golf clubs out of her SUV so we can take the wagon, chairs and crap. Then tells me to pack the little ones to go bag with sippies and snacks.
    I do all this and more, all of which was on the list, for her the night before. It is now 4:30 we jump in her car....I look down and no gas.

    WTF.....I wish I knew what she does all day at home.

  8. #9958
    asshat bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club bluto Shaggy Gold Club
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    12,663
    Bangs the neighbor working from home

  9. #9959
    asshat MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Hangin' by the bar. Putting out the vibe
    Posts
    41,893
    lives a stressful life!

  10. #9960
    asshat js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge?
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Elysian Fields
    Posts
    20,575
    Quote Originally Posted by Not From Texas View Post
    She wanted us to take the kid to the park when I got home from work.

    Tuesday night I told her to make sure everything was ready to go and gave her a verbal list. I wanted to leave at 3 as soon as I got home to avoid traffic.

    Get home at 3

    Change clothes and say lets go... she says little one hasn't had lunch yet. So is making her a sand which. Then she asks me to take the golf clubs out of her SUV so we can take the wagon, chairs and crap. Then tells me to pack the little ones to go bag with sippies and snacks.
    I do all this and more, all of which was on the list, for her the night before. It is now 4:30 we jump in her car....I look down and no gas.

    WTF.....I wish I knew what she does all day at home.
    Write it down and tell her, because if you just tell her, there's no proof and you lose

  11. #9961
    asshat B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses B grows his own roses
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    1,327
    Quote Originally Posted by Not From Texas View Post
    She wanted us to take the kid to the park when I got home from work.

    Tuesday night I told her to make sure everything was ready to go and gave her a verbal list. I wanted to leave at 3 as soon as I got home to avoid traffic.

    Get home at 3

    Change clothes and say lets go... she says little one hasn't had lunch yet. So is making her a sand which. Then she asks me to take the golf clubs out of her SUV so we can take the wagon, chairs and crap. Then tells me to pack the little ones to go bag with sippies and snacks.
    I do all this and more, all of which was on the list, for her the night before. It is now 4:30 we jump in her car....I look down and no gas.

    WTF.....I wish I knew what she does all day at home.
    That's a lot of advanced planning just to go to the park.

  12. #9962
    faux aggy hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Bar, next to my office
    Posts
    12,278
    If I hear "What's my password to [fill in the blank]?" one more $#@!ing time, I'm going to start stabbing someone.

  13. #9963
    Space Cadet RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Boarding the VIP private Space Ark to leave this pathetic little rock.
    Posts
    12,465
    Quote Originally Posted by hullabelew View Post
    If I hear "What's my password to [fill in the blank]?" one more $#@!ing time, I'm going to start stabbing someone.
    Especially when she used the SAME DAMNED PASSWORD (occasionally with "01" at the end) for everything she uses.

  14. #9964
    asshat Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago, Texas
    Posts
    10,402
    Quote Originally Posted by hullabelew View Post
    If I hear "What's my password to [fill in the blank]?" one more $#@!ing time, I'm going to start stabbing someone.
    Quote Originally Posted by RamjetFDO View Post
    Especially when she used the SAME DAMNED PASSWORD (occasionally with "01" at the end) for everything she uses.
    ...

    same password for everything and she forgets it all the time for just about everything...

    just yesterday I setup 2 verification questions on our daughters school registration website thing after having to reset her password for her... "why is it asking me what my brother-in-laws last name is? do I have to answer that?" why are passwords so effing difficult for women to understand...

  15. #9965
    asshat El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri grows his own roses El Tri's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    ATX, boom MFer!
    Posts
    1,290
    Quote Originally Posted by Not From Texas View Post
    She wanted us to take the kid to the park when I got home from work.

    Tuesday night I told her to make sure everything was ready to go and gave her a verbal list. I wanted to leave at 3 as soon as I got home to avoid traffic.

    Get home at 3

    Change clothes and say lets go... she says little one hasn't had lunch yet. So is making her a sand which. Then she asks me to take the golf clubs out of her SUV so we can take the wagon, chairs and crap. Then tells me to pack the little ones to go bag with sippies and snacks.
    I do all this and more, all of which was on the list, for her the night before. It is now 4:30 we jump in her car....I look down and no gas.

    WTF.....I wish I knew what she does all day at home.
    she works the most thank-less job in the world where the hours are long, pay is zero, and no vacations, ahhh the plight of the stay at home mom!

  16. #9966
    asshat Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos Shaggy Gold Club Texas St. Armadillos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    4,430
    Quote Originally Posted by El Tri View Post
    she works the most thank-less job in the world where the hours are long, pay is zero, and no vacations, ahhh the plight of the stay at home mom!
    #stayathomemommy #thegoodlife #soblessed

  17. #9967
    faux aggy hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Bar, next to my office
    Posts
    12,278
    The most recent password question got the following bit of information. Never mind that I tell her every time she sets something up to use a specific password that we set up years ago and the numbers just switch back and forth in they expire. Either 00 or 11. Very simple. [word 1], [##] [Word 2]. Now I get this after she had to reset her home email account. Another exercise in sheer drama and screaming phone calls while I was at work (somehow my $#@!ing fault apparently)

    Me: What is your new password for your email account that you reset it to?
    Her: [dad's first name][dad's age][dad's last name]
    Me: Is this what you used before?
    Her: Yes. I can always remember it because I know how old he is.
    Me: What happens when you have a password for something that you set up maybe 3 or 4 years ago?
    Her: What do you mean?
    Me: Well, if you enter his age, then you have to remember when you set it up in order to remember how old he was when you set it up.
    Her: What?
    Me: Why don't you use the one that I told you to? That way, you just have two numbers to remember. Either 00 or 11.
    Her: I don't like doing it that way.
    Me: You're probably right. Your way is working pretty well, so you should probably just keep doing it that way.

    10 minutes later.
    Me: Did you change your Apple password on your Ipad? I need to get in to rebuild your mail accounts on your ipad.
    Her: Yes, I changed it.
    Me: What did you change it to?
    Her: I don't remember.
    Me: Why would you change that?
    Her: I couldn't remember it.
    Me: But you had it written down on a yellow sticky on the case. In your handwriting.
    Her: Oh, I wondered what that was for.

    Kill me now. Maybe that is what I will change it to. $#@!ing00KillMeNow
    Last edited by hullabelew; 08-22-2013 at 09:54 AM.

  18. #9968
    asshat Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen Shaggy Gold Club Biff Tannen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Hill Valley, CA
    Posts
    5,636
    she got me a box of kolaches for breakfast all week. This morning I go in the fridge and out of the five remaining, all five have at least one bite taken out of them. My college roommate used to do this also. Makes me want to set things on fire.

  19. #9969
    asshat retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    A sure thing. No questions asked. No strings attached.
    Posts
    5,836
    I realize that, if they're that stubborn about writing the damn things down somewhere, they won't likely use this, but...

    From the password thread, this has worked well for me. You can set all your passwords up; there's a master password to get in (that they'll likely forget); there are browser extensions for most browsers, etc.

    https://agilebits.com/onepassword

  20. #9970
    Quote Originally Posted by Not From Texas View Post
    we jump in her car....I look down and no gas.
    I've bitched a $#@! out more times than I can count for this. There's a Shell station on the highway just 3 miles from our house... you pretty much HAVE to pass it to get to our house. There's no reason, no $#@!ING reason, to have a car parked in the driveway with the needle on the E.

  21. #9971
    asshat Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face GORN Basil Your Face's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Peoples' Front of Judea
    Posts
    10,634
    In ten years of marriage, I've never heard a single word from my wife about forgotten passwords. Where do you guys find these dimwits?

  22. #9972
    Space Cadet RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Boarding the VIP private Space Ark to leave this pathetic little rock.
    Posts
    12,465
    Quote Originally Posted by Basil Your Face View Post
    In ten years of marriage, I've never heard a single word from my wife about forgotten passwords. Where do you guys find these dimwits?
    That's because your wife uses 1234 as her password.

  23. #9973
    asshat Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago, Texas
    Posts
    10,402
    Quote Originally Posted by Basil Your Face View Post
    In ten years of marriage, I've never heard a single word from my wife about forgotten passwords. Where do you guys find these dimwits?
    because your wife's login is still admin, 1234

    damnit Ramjet! beat me to it
    Last edited by Speedtrucker; 08-22-2013 at 10:24 AM. Reason: cause I was 1 second too slow

  24. #9974
    "It was right a a mile around. I know because I measured it in a car so that I would know about how many laps it would take to run 6 miles."

    unintentual brag was intentual
    Last edited by bearman; 08-22-2013 at 11:01 AM.

  25. #9975
    Quote Originally Posted by Not From Texas View Post
    She wanted us to take the kid to the park when I got home from work.

    Tuesday night I told her to make sure everything was ready to go and gave her a verbal list. I wanted to leave at 3 as soon as I got home to avoid traffic.

    Get home at 3

    Change clothes and say lets go... she says little one hasn't had lunch yet. So is making her a sand which. Then she asks me to take the golf clubs out of her SUV so we can take the wagon, chairs and crap. Then tells me to pack the little ones to go bag with sippies and snacks.
    I do all this and more, all of which was on the list, for her the night before. It is now 4:30 we jump in her car....I look down and no gas.

    WTF.....I wish I knew what she does all day at home.
    #whattoexpect #thismakesmestabby #wholeftbabyayalabackathome

  26. #9976
    asshat STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Not an aggy, just don't hate Manziel.
    Posts
    8,648
    Quote Originally Posted by Not From Texas View Post
    WTF.....I wish I knew what she does all day at home.
    BEING A MOTHER IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.

    Can you imagine having to bend at the waist to put a DVD in a player?!?

    /bill burr

  27. #9977
    bunghole Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus slams and goes hard. Jack klompus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    282
    Quote Originally Posted by STFU Donny View Post
    BEING A MOTHER IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.

    Can you imagine having to bend at the waist to put a DVD in a player?!?

    /bill burr
    Sometimes the drive thru line at Chic-filet is wrapped all the way around the building. That causes stress on the poor gal and the pressure of keeping her foot on the brake for 10 minutes can cause scoliosis.

  28. #9978
    Quote Originally Posted by Speedtrucker View Post
    ...

    same password for everything and she forgets it all the time for just about everything...

    just yesterday I setup 2 verification questions on our daughters school registration website thing after having to reset her password for her... "why is it asking me what my brother-in-laws last name is? do I have to answer that?" why are passwords so effing difficult for women to understand...
    Isn't her brother in laws last name the same as hers?

  29. #9979
    asshat spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club spystud13 Shaggy Gold Club
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    FW
    Posts
    35,808
    Can we get a stupid $#@! Jameslaw & knox post thread? Her sister's husband would also be her brother-in-law, genius. Unless they married brothers, I would think their last names are likely different.

  30. #9980
    #winning Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12 Shaggy Gold Club Macallan12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    On my computer.
    Posts
    4,903
    I think you could have just said "No". Kinder, gentler, as it were.

  31. #9981
    Quote Originally Posted by Basil Your Face View Post
    In ten years of marriage, I've never heard a single word from my wife about forgotten passwords. Where do you guys find these dimwits?
    Are you sure you are married to a woman?

  32. #9982
    asshat Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker Shaggy Gold Club Speedtrucker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago, Texas
    Posts
    10,402
    Quote Originally Posted by Jameslaw View Post
    Isn't her brother in laws last name the same as hers?
    her sister's husband, I don't have brothers so it makes it easier. guess I coulda made it, her married sister's new last name.

  33. #9983
    asshat js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? js might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge?
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Elysian Fields
    Posts
    20,575
    Quote Originally Posted by Skyrocket View Post
    Are you sure you are married to a woman?
    Not a live one...

  34. #9984
    asshat wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. wd40 is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn.
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,161
    Quote Originally Posted by Biff Tannen View Post
    she got me a box of kolaches for breakfast all week. This morning I go in the fridge and out of the five remaining, all five have at least one bite taken out of them. My college roommate used to do this also. Makes me want to set things on fire.
    this is not getting enough love.

  35. #9985
    Quote Originally Posted by Basil Your Face View Post
    In ten years of marriage, I've never heard a single word from my wife about forgotten passwords. Where do you guys find these dimwits?
    I found mine at U. T. Austin, but you can pick one up on most any college campus? Just ask around.
    Last edited by Skyrocket; 08-22-2013 at 08:38 PM.

  36. #9986
    asshat ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme is a rep whore. ulukinatme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SW Ohio
    Posts
    1,096
    Last night my wife was on the floor of the living room folding clothes. "This is the 3rd time I've had to fold these clothes today." She always leaves the clothes basket on the floor so the kids can get into it and make a mess.

    I didn't say anything though...already been bitched up twice in the last week for making logical suggestions like "How about move the clothes basket?"

  37. #9987
    Space Cadet RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO Probably Shaggy Upper Class RamjetFDO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Boarding the VIP private Space Ark to leave this pathetic little rock.
    Posts
    12,465
    Quote Originally Posted by ulukinatme View Post
    Last night my wife was on the floor of the living room folding clothes. "This is the 3rd time I've had to fold these clothes today." She always leaves the clothes basket on the floor so the kids can get into it and make a mess.

    I didn't say anything though...already been bitched up twice in the last week for making logical suggestions like "How about move the clothes basket?"
    IT'S NOT ABOUT THE NAIL!

    /insensitivebastardcaps

  38. #9988
    I have a golf fundraiser tomorrow, already looking forward to hearing about how the kids didn't listen to her when I get home.

  39. #9989
    asshat dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex grows his own roses dblazetex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    utopia
    Posts
    1,833
    Just took over grocery shopping because my schedule is currently more flexible than hers. No problem. Her grocery bills have always been much higher than mine. Now I know why. While taking freezer inventory I found 9 bags of hash browns, 5 bags of meatballs, and 5 bags of chicken breasts. No doubt half that $#@! gets thrown away every few months after getting too freezer burned.

  40. #9990
    asshat MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? MNLonghorn10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Hangin' by the bar. Putting out the vibe
    Posts
    41,893
    Quote Originally Posted by dblazetex View Post
    Just took over grocery shopping because my schedule is currently more flexible than hers. No problem. Her grocery bills have always been much higher than mine. Now I know why. While taking freezer inventory I found 9 bags of hash browns, 5 bags of meatballs, and 5 bags of chicken breasts. No doubt half that $#@! gets thrown away every few months after getting too freezer burned.
    never understood how when we plan meals for a week or whatever...we buy the $#@!...and others $#@! and a few months down the road, the other $#@! gets thrown out. so instead of just ordering carry out, we end up with dirty dishes at the time & 40-50 dollars of unused expired $#@! down the road. $#@! grocery shopping.

  41. #9991
    asshat Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club Dolemite Shaggy Gold Club
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Atlanta, Ga
    Posts
    12,145
    Quote Originally Posted by js View Post
    Not a live one...
    The perfect marriage

  42. #9992
    asshat KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? KaiserSoze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Fisting your mom
    Posts
    11,806
    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyHoffa View Post
    I have a golf fundraiser tomorrow, already looking forward to hearing about how the kids didn't listen to her when I get home.

    Tell her it was her half of the chromosomes that caused the problem.

  43. #9993
    asshat Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister grows his own roses Scheiss Meister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Taking a selfie.
    Posts
    1,059
    Quote Originally Posted by KaiserSoze View Post
    Tell her it was her half of the chromosomes that caused the problem.
    When one of my kids would do something monumentally dumb, I would turn to my wife and tell her that my half of the DNA was perfectly fine when I gave it to her.

  44. #9994
    asshat mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? mulletpelini's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    You just made the list buddy
    Posts
    12,349
    I'll preface this beauty. The lady I cohabitate with will alternate paying for dinner with me when we go out and tonight was her turn.

    We had a garage sale this week and had tables set up with $#@! we're selling on top and other sorted items to goodwill or to be kept in containers underneath. Some other stupid bitch pulled out one of the containers underneath that had sewing thread that lady intended to "keep" and decided she was buying it, and I gladly took her money.

    Problem was, I wasn't supposed to sell it.

    Lady comes home, notices container of "keep" is open and half gone. Loses her. $#@!ing. mind. Apparently I sold gold plated thread worth 1 meelion dollars (at least that's what I would assume from her reaction to the situation) for 6 bucks.

    I apologize, explain that I did not realize it was not to be sold and that it was an unfortunate mistake and was done, over, and nothing that I could do or say was gonna change it.

    Not good enough.

    This is a woman who has NEVER reacted this way on something this trivial in our entire relationship. She just won't let it $#@!ing go.

    I'm floored.

    Fast forward to dinner tonight, she still really doesn't appear to have let it go. At some point she comments again about this $#@!ING THREAD I SOLD. She wasn't kidding around, it was a serious jab, as if the 4 hours since the previous conversation were merely 30 seconds in real time.

    Now I'm $#@!ing pissed, but I don't react. Green Bay is playing Seattle so I focus primarily on it mixing in non detailed small talk in between.

    Finally the bill comes and she's got her card out ready to pay. I pick it up and hand it back to her.

    Me: No, no, I got this.

    Her: Really?

    Me: Yeah, I'm gonna use the money I made from selling your $#@!ing thread.

  45. #9995
    asshat laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono grows his own roses laxtono's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    The dark side of the moon
    Posts
    1,704
    Quote Originally Posted by mulletpelini View Post
    I'll preface this beauty. The lady I cohabitate with will alternate paying for dinner with me when we go out and tonight was her turn.

    We had a garage sale this week and had tables set up with $#@! we're selling on top and other sorted items to goodwill or to be kept in containers underneath. Some other stupid bitch pulled out one of the containers underneath that had sewing thread that lady intended to "keep" and decided she was buying it, and I gladly took her money.

    Problem was, I wasn't supposed to sell it.

    Lady comes home, notices container of "keep" is open and half gone. Loses her. $#@!ing. mind. Apparently I sold gold plated thread worth 1 meelion dollars (at least that's what I would assume from her reaction to the situation) for 6 bucks.

    I apologize, explain that I did not realize it was not to be sold and that it was an unfortunate mistake and was done, over, and nothing that I could do or say was gonna change it.

    Not good enough.

    This is a woman who has NEVER reacted this way on something this trivial in our entire relationship. She just won't let it $#@!ing go.

    I'm floored.

    Fast forward to dinner tonight, she still really doesn't appear to have let it go. At some point she comments again about this $#@!ING THREAD I SOLD. She wasn't kidding around, it was a serious jab, as if the 4 hours since the previous conversation were merely 30 seconds in real time.

    Now I'm $#@!ing pissed, but I don't react. Green Bay is playing Seattle so I focus primarily on it mixing in non detailed small talk in between.

    Finally the bill comes and she's got her card out ready to pay. I pick it up and hand it back to her.

    Me: No, no, I got this.

    Her: Really?

    Me: Yeah, I'm gonna use the money I made from selling your $#@!ing thread.
    Tone

  46. #9996
    bunghole PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. PhillyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    DC
    Posts
    775
    Quote Originally Posted by mulletpelini View Post
    I'll preface this beauty. The lady I cohabitate with will alternate paying for dinner with me when we go out and tonight was her turn.

    We had a garage sale this week and had tables set up with $#@! we're selling on top and other sorted items to goodwill or to be kept in containers underneath. Some other stupid bitch pulled out one of the containers underneath that had sewing thread that lady intended to "keep" and decided she was buying it, and I gladly took her money.

    Problem was, I wasn't supposed to sell it.

    Lady comes home, notices container of "keep" is open and half gone. Loses her. $#@!ing. mind. Apparently I sold gold plated thread worth 1 meelion dollars (at least that's what I would assume from her reaction to the situation) for 6 bucks.

    I apologize, explain that I did not realize it was not to be sold and that it was an unfortunate mistake and was done, over, and nothing that I could do or say was gonna change it.

    Not good enough.

    This is a woman who has NEVER reacted this way on something this trivial in our entire relationship. She just won't let it $#@!ing go.

    I'm floored.

    Fast forward to dinner tonight, she still really doesn't appear to have let it go. At some point she comments again about this $#@!ING THREAD I SOLD. She wasn't kidding around, it was a serious jab, as if the 4 hours since the previous conversation were merely 30 seconds in real time.

    Now I'm $#@!ing pissed, but I don't react. Green Bay is playing Seattle so I focus primarily on it mixing in non detailed small talk in between.

    Finally the bill comes and she's got her card out ready to pay. I pick it up and hand it back to her.

    Me: No, no, I got this.

    Her: Really?

    Me: Yeah, I'm gonna use the money I made from selling your $#@!ing thread.
    Like an $#@! boss

  47. #9997
    asshat JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM grows his own roses JohnnyM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    1,814
    mullet - had a similar issue with my wife the first garage sale we had about 10 years ago. she went to get change (because of course she didn't bother getting any the day before) and i sold something for $10 that she wanted to get "at least $20" from. since then i'm banished from garage sales. i will help her get it setup, and i'll drive her around to put up her signs, but on the day of i stay inside with the kids while she haggles for quarters. win-win. she once haggled a one-legged man into buying a used shower bench for $50...even made him go home and ask his wife because my wife wouldn't take $40 for it and that's all he had.

  48. #9998
    asshat Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis Shaggy Gold Club Anastasis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    in the gutter
    Posts
    12,833
    Gold clap mullet.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

  49. #9999
    asshat STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny Shaggy Gold Club STFU Donny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Not an aggy, just don't hate Manziel.
    Posts
    8,648
    If you have a generally happy marriage and you've always wondered how someone could get so angry that he'd murder his wife, I suggest having a garage sale.

  50. #10000
    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyM View Post
    mullet - had a similar issue with my wife the first garage sale we had about 10 years ago. she went to get change (because of course she didn't bother getting any the day before) and i sold something for $10 that she wanted to get "at least $20" from. since then i'm banished from garage sales. i will help her get it setup, and i'll drive her around to put up her signs, but on the day of i stay inside with the kids while she haggles for quarters. win-win. she once haggled a one-legged man into buying a used shower bench for $50...even made him go home and ask his wife because my wife wouldn't take $40 for it and that's all he had.
    I don't like her tone.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Home .. Advertise .. ShaggyShop .. PanchoChat
Football .. Basketball .. Baseball .. Other Sports .. RC Didn't Offer .. Gamboool
Varsity .. Hole in the Wall .. PCL .. Einstein's .. Nasty's .. GM Steakhouse .. NSAA
Bada Bing .. Can you help me with this? .. Shagslist .. Cloak Room .. Classics .. Bellmont