So, there's someone I like ... and I'm not sure what to do.
I suppose the obvious answer is that I should just ask her if she'd like to spend a couple of hours with me some evening.
I guess I need to get my cojones in order.
I've known this woman for about 2 years. I remember where we met -- Scholtz's. A friend and I talked to her for a few minutes and we both turned away and said "wow." I didn't see her for a couple of years but then I worked fairly closely with her for the last 4 months ... but we were in a work relationship so I couldn't ask her out.
I don't know what most people think is the most important thing in their life is, but for me it has usually been relationships with women (and of course family relationships are important). ... other than golf ...
I don't know what she's like now, but she's #1 in my heart, ahead of my ex-wife and other primary girlfriend. There was another woman who I would put as #2 in the list of 4, but that's another story.
This potential woman seems like she could be the 5th significant woman in my life.
Like I said, I have her cell phone number and personal e-mail address, so it's not like she hasn't been willing to give me personal information.
This woman looks like a "keeper." But, who knows? She may dump me in 4 months. I'm older ... she's younger ... but she's also in her 30's, law school grad, and never been married.
Yes, I probably am overthinking this. Ok, here's another kicker -- she's one of my 3 references on my "one page" resume (edit: that's a joke from another thread)... so, maybe I ought to just leave it alone. It's complicated. Well, I could have other references on my resume but she's a good one. However, if I asked her out I think I would have to replace her with someone else.
For some closure and potential explanation, I worked with this woman for about 300 hours of overtime in a 4-month span. Primarily, we have had a professional relationship. That's not to say that we didn't have lunches and dinners together, along with other staffers. And not that we didn't spend much time in each other's office just talking about random $#@! when work was slow.
It's just weird to make the transition from a work relationship to a personal relationship, though now I suppose I could.
And, I do exchange e-mail with her almost every day. We're making the transition to a personal relationship, though it's not like you can snap your fingers and change things in a day or a week or a month for that matter. It's mostly always going to be about work.
And I think that those of you who poo poo the value of a job reference probably haven't been in the working world that long. Until I secure my next job assignment, I need her mostly as a job reference rather than a date.
I'll be sarcastic ... "oh, ok, we've just been working our asses off on politics and public policy for 4 months, so let's get into a relationship." I'm sorry, but I just don't see it working like that.
Obviously, several of you think I'm wrong, but I know where she works and she's not going anywhere. I have time.
So, no, I haven't asked her out at this point. And as I said earlier, it's a little more complicated than just saying "ask her out."
I asked her to lunch and offered to bring her the food of her choice tomorrow if she wanted. She likes Whole Foods. I also asked her if she wanted to go to Blues on the Green as someone suggested above.
No, she's very cool. She's a lawyer. She's very smart. She's also very personable. And like I said, we used to hang out in each other's offices for a half hour at a time and just talk.
But it was work, so we couldn't really talk about personal relationships with the fear of a sexual harassment lawsuit constantly hanging over our heads.
It's only 10 a.m. and I haven't received a response to my e-mail. I wouldn't expect anything before 5 p.m. My schedule is probably not going to get me to her office today.
No.
And at this point I don't think she's going to ... at least not with regard to my request for lunch, Blues on the Green, or something else she would like to do.
I guess it's just going to be a work relationship. So ... ok.
I called her personal line at work and left a very brief voice mail saying that going to lunch would be nice. I called another guy at work and he said that she was on the phone. I believe that he was telling the truth.
I suppose I'll ball-up tomorrow and make time just to go chat with her at work.
Well, she and I work in the same environment. I'll be seeing her fairly regularly.
I'm not closing the door on any potential future relationship. I'm going to try again later, maybe in a couple of weeks or so.
I'll just try to figure out a better approach.
As I referenced in an earlier post, you have to put out effort to pursue and achieve what you want. Maybe she's the kind of person that wants me to ask about 5 times before she says yes. ... I'm ok with that ... and that's what I'm going to do. She seems worth it.
And, as I said earlier, she was sort of my supervisor and sort of not, she hired me, but she gave me a job to do but had little oversight of how I did that job. She just trusted me to do my job. And I did it ... pretty damn well I think.
One of the few things that is funny, is that we had some important business to do ... we had to liaison with another group of people ... she simply told me to go ask several specific questions ... and she told me to go ask the questions for 5 days in a row because we wanted to make sure that we did things right.
Yes, I know ... I've done what I can do ... and I'm not going to ask her out again as I said earlier.
We'll continue to have a work relationship and she'll be a great reference for me for future jobs.
I thought I might go talk to her on Monday. I decided not to do that. I sent her one freakin' e-mail. It's Friday now and I haven't "stalked" her. So, no, I don't think I'm obsessing at all.
I have rose bushes. I would have 15-20 roses every week. The women in the office liked having them on their desks. And, instead of just letting them die on the vine, I would bring them into the office.
Maybe I'll go to her work tomorrow and grab a grapefruit juice out of the fridge and ask her again if she'd like to have a sandwich for lunch. I have a couple of nice red roses in my front yard. Maybe I'll take one in.
I would have 15-25 roses on my bushes in my front yard every week. It was cool to see the roses when I pulled into my driveway, but I figured that the people at work would like having roses to put on their desks (guys too). So, I would cut them and take them into work.
Everybody loved receiving them.
I really don't understand why some of you think this is weird.
And of course, regarding the main topic of this thread .... sure ..., I'm trying to show this woman that I'm a thoughtful guy.
I won't be asking this woman out again anytime soon (unless the Magic 8 Ball tells me otherwise).
However, I probably will drop a rose off at her desk (and for the rest of the staff) tomorrow or the next day. ... Not as some sort of dating thing ... but the staff knows that I grow roses.
We'll see.
But now, I've decided to wait until Christmas and buy her a Guns and Roses CD, and tie a little toy tricycle into a bow tie knot and slip a black long-stem rose through it as wrapping paper.
Here's another funny one for y'all to play with -- her birthday is April Fool's Day.
Although mine is Aug. 10 (a couple weeks away), if anyone wants to get something for me.
I realize y'all are just having your fun, but one e-mail and one phone call in two weeks is not stalking.
I was a bit confused, but I will almost never turn away the company of a woman.
Originally Posted by Anonymous
